111

Things have changed.... and yes I do feel like my mum and dad who like everyone's parents were for ever saying something along the line of 'things aren't what they used to be'. I imagine this to be the same for everyone getting older, maybe moving away from their home town or country, and then returning for a visit or maybe even to stay. Like me.... now, for instance.

It wouldn't have happened this way had I not eaten those MacDonald's chicken nuggets. That's what I think anyway even though Viv had some and was perfectly fine. Anyway the reaction was let us say, quite remarkable in an explosive sort of way. All would have been OK had we not been flying to England the next day but without going into graphic and rather ghastly detail, let me just say a near 20 hour flight + layover combo in such circumstances is not one to cherish.

Again all would have been fine and dandy had things just cleared up in a couple of days as they usually do but they hung around without showing signs of abating. I didn't eat for all this time and just drank water, lots of it, but the reaction didn't show any sign of change so I felt I should see a doctor.

Now, the NHS is touted as THE be all and end all national health service globally but for some while now, if you are not registered with a GP you can't just walk into a surgery and ask to see a doctor. You have to call 111 and speak to a call centre where --- and this is according to a doctor whom I spoke with later on --- you speak with a non-medically qualified call centre person who asks a series of questions based on an algorithm and then provides a course of action. For me, the questions were name, age, what's up and then it homed in on my country of residence (Malaysia) and that I had a tummy upset. In all, after getting my name and DOB, probably no more than 6 or 7 questions in all before the call centre lady said she's asked enough and that if nobody called within an hour, then the ambulance would come and take me to the hospital.

"WHAT????" What on earth was this all about? "What do you mean ambulance? Is this serious?"

"The ERT people will be able to check you out better and tell you more when they get there." This really wasn't that comforting at all.

"Isn't this a bit like overkill? Surely there's other people who are really ill and need assistance like this more than me??"

"Are you refusing the ambulance then?" the voice said very sternly.

"No. no, no, of course not. It's just that usually I would go to a doctor and they'd give me a prescription and in a couple of days I'd be right as rain."

"So has this happened before? Not the first time, then?"

I could see where this was all heading. This was a conversation I was never likely to win. This algorithm driven diagnosis was her job and there was absolutely no point in getting into debate with someone who could not change things up. I'd discovered before when battling with the UK pension people that the first layer of call centre person was the best chance you had of getting anything done. One layer up are the people whose job it is to say "no" and beyond that comes the threat of some sort of dire consequence which would not be to your advantage. In my limited way, I had triumphed back then but this time when it was my health that was on the line, I could not get out of my mind the thought that 'My God, I'm going to die'.

So I asked whether it would be easier if I just went to hospital on my own and the lady said yes, go to the A&E department of either Margate or Ashford hospitals 30+ miles away in diametrically opposite directions. I asked whether I would have an appointment and the lady said no, I'd just have to wait my turn.  This was not good news as the newspapers continually talked about 9 and 10 hour waiting lines at the NHS hospitals and when I looked at the online reviews (which do exist, just Google them), they were not good.

Right after, I did what I should in retrospect probably have done first, namely call the firm where I have global health insurance and ask them if they had any local doctor or medical support nearby. They said go to the Chaucer Hospital and gave me a phone number. They also said one of their doctors would call me later and talk through my symptoms. He did a few minutes later and it was he that told me about how the 111 thing works (the bit about call centres and algorithms) and then we talked through my symptoms, upshot being that I felt that my best way forward was to call the Chaucer Hospital which I did and made an appointment for the following day.

It was a private hospital so I would have to pay for the visit but the wait was less than 5 minutes and I walked out with a couple of prescriptions probably no more than 20 minutes later.

I don't know what the message is in all this other than if you have to rely on the NHS, you'd better be prepared to wait and if you are from overseas or like me haven't lived in the country for quite a while, then you are pretty much out of luck. Alternatively, maybe I should have simply walked into the first doctor's surgery I could find and ask to see the doctor. The old fashioned way.

Did I ever say that I don't like call centres? Or the 'system'? Or multiple levels of mindless bureaucracy? Or...