Location, Location, Location

Had the Cayman Islands been on the other side of Cuba, chances are they would be Spanish and very poor.  However that's not where the Cayman Trench is.  Its this side -- sorry, the south side of Cuba.

The Trench is essentially an 8000 metre high mountain under water and its three peaks are Grand Cayman, Little Cayman and Cayman Brac.  I thought they were volcanic but I was disabused of this notion by the marine guru at the Cayman National Museum at a talk earlier this week as she revealed the Cayman Island Maritime Heritage Trail to the world.

Cayman is also swamped by ship wrecked vessels for the simple reason that the wind/current combination for sail bound vessels in the past was in through the southern part and out in the channel between Cuba (and of course Cayman) and the Central American coast.  In dodgy weather this meant that many ships ploughed into Cayman's reefs (all of which are amazingly close in to shore) and were wrecked... then ransacked and then finally salvaged.  Like Bermuda, one of Cayman's early industries was that of wrecking.

In through the southern routes and Out through the channel between Cayman, Central America and Florida

So having been fired up by the announcement of this trail I decided to go and follow it today.  First up, the map of the trail is really small scale so tricky to follow if you don't have a fair grasp of the road layouts in Cayman which fortunately I do so I decided to start with the eastern part of the trail, starting in a place called Prospect Point.  It's also a nice way to discover the island as I'd not been to many of the parts I covered today and I discovered that Prospect Point was a really nice residential location indeed.  But I was here for the trail and found it.

The fort used to be nearby but is now long gone

There is a small channel in the reef line here so the early settlers decided to build a fort, as protection from pirates as much as anything else for the great colonial powers really didn't have any time for Cayman being small, waterless, no natural resources and with a landscape not set up for plantation farming like nearby Jamaica.  So Cayman was largely ignored.  Several schooners were lost on the reefs nearby in the 1800's.

Next stop was Pedro St. James, the oldest building in Cayman dating back to 1780.

It's government run these days and well worth a visit as a kindly old gentleman who turned out to be part of the original Eden family that built it was the tour guide.  The building was a ruin for many years until the government stepped in and bought and painstakingly renovated back to its original condition.  And it's a lovely old colonial style building indeed.

Pre-Renovation

Today fully Renovated

This is in the outdoor non-attached kitchen (fire hazard and heat dispersement). and the restored old stove top.  Wood frame filled with sand, then coals on top rather like today's BBQ

The first William Eden arrived in Cayman in the 1770's from Devizes in Devon and almost immediately met the governor's daughter, a Miss Bodden -- a very Caymanian name.  They married and started having babies so needed a home, this one.  Sadly Mrs. Eden died in childbirth with #4 so William married another lady with whom he had 6 more children.  The new Mrs. Eden was reportedly a bit of a shrew so he upped and left for Honduras to log mahogany (for home and boat building) and sadly for him, that is where he then died leaving Mrs. Eden with 10 children and this house named St. James on Pedro Point (hence the name).

William Eden II was a very prominent businessman and inevitably with the biggest house that is where many of the business and governmental decisions were made in Cayman as Bodden Town, nearby, was the island's first capital.  In the early days there were few local laws only those brought in from Jamaica (Cayman was a dependency back then) few of which had any relevance and so were largely ignored.  That worked until the population grew larger when the old ways (essentially any problems were put out for arbitration with the neighbors but if you didn't like the result, you used fists) were found to be chaotic bordering on anarchy.  So in 1831 the bigwigs sat down and drafted a 'proposal' for the Governor of Jamaica essentially creating a democratic society.  Ultimately somebody read the proposal and in the 1850's it was accepted.  This enabled local laws to be made and the anarchy stopped.

Pedro St. James was also the place where the proclamation outlawing slavery and freeing all slaves was made in 1835.  The Act was actually passed in 1833.  News traveled slowly in those days.

There's also a nice display of near contemporary news from the 1940-1960 times when the island went from being a mosquito ridden swamp fringed by isolated settlements (this is pre-roads) to what we know it is today.  One section described the fact that personal incomes had actually gone down since the first settlement as truly Cayman had nothing, not even for Caymanians many of whom left to seek work.  In the late 1940's Government revenues totaled 12,500 pounds sterling, three-quarters of which came from the sale of stamps!  There were 3 civil servants back then as opposed to 4,000 today!  The 1950's saw roads, an airport and the first hotel on 7 Mile Beach.  There's no bush on 7 Mile Beach these days but 60 years ago there was no road and bush, bush and more bush.  And no tourists either!

After this I was on the road again out east -- there's only one road so difficult to get lost.  However the east road is all by the coast with reefs and beaches so it was difficult to know where the trail points were other than with the microscopic trail signs often hidden away behind things.  This meant annoying everyone on the road traveling east as I couldn't go more than 20 mph otherwise I'd miss the signs.

The first was The Iphigenia, a Welsh barque that was stranded on the Bodden Town reefs in 1874 -- reckless navigation not weather being the reason.  The ship was overrun by local salvagers, something the local authorities found difficult to control there being 2 magistrates who tried to keep the peace whilst the 3rd was joining in.  The captain was reprimanded and told 'to be more careful next time'.

Difficult to imagine conditions where a ship would founder on a day like today!

Next was The Juga, a Norwegian ship wrecked on reefs at Old Isaac in 1888.  Part of it is still there above the water line.  As it's really close into shore local wreckers were on board within 5 minutes, first helping the crew away, next negotiating salvage rights with the captain before finally dipping in.

Don't expect to see this on the water side of the road.  It is on the other side almost hidden by foliage. I missed it first time around.

Then came the East End Lighthouse -- on the other side of the road on top of a small bluff.  The lighthouse was first erected in 1906/07 and was replaced in 1957 with a newer model.  Before this a lantern was put on top of a 60 foot mast each night.  Progress indeed.  Today's model is driven by solar power.

The old and the new ... old at the back.  They don't like throwing things away in Cayman!

Finally came the Wreck of the Ten Sail right out at the far eastern end.  In 1794 during the Revolutionary War with France, the Royal Navy had captured a French frigate nearby and was sending it back to England for refit under the name HMS Convert.  She was also acting as security for a convoy of 58 merchant ships also sailing back to various parts of Europe -- I thought the convoy system was only introduced in WW1 but clearly it was in operation before this.  The convoy was setting sail from Jamaica on the morning tide but the night before 6 or 7 vessels left harbour so HMS Convert and the rest of the convoy had to leave pretty quickly.  News came back that those turkeys who'd left before the others had all ploughed into some unknown reefs somewhere so the chase was on and HMS Convert was in the van.  A lookout in the night called out a warning about reefs just off to one side and as HMS Convert turned away another merchant vessel who'd clearly been dreaming ploughed into her side and both ended up on the reefs as well.  What didn't help was the fact that there was quite a strong breeze driving the convoy onto the reefs so in the end 10 ships, HMS Convert and 9 other merchantmen, ended up on the reefs hence the name of the site.  The rest of the convoy managed to get back to their home jurisdictions unscathed.  Convert's captain faced customary court marshal and was acquitted and went on to greater things in the Royal Navy.

This ship foundered in 1963.

200 year anniversary memorial of the Ten Sails

On the way back to West Bay, I drove through South Sound and came across Pallas and Pull and Be Damned Point.  This is pretty much the south eastern most point of the island and the place where all the bad weather comes in from -- plus it's the part where most ships pile up.  The Pallas was another Norwegian ship in ballast from Scotland that piled into the reef in 1875.  Part can still be seen on the reefs.

Cemetery in the background

The remains of the Pallas

Now this is interesting.  This was the time when the shipping world was making the great transition from sail to steam.  So what happened to all the older sailing vessels?  I'd never really thought about it but the Norwegians had.  They bought them, or certainly a large number of them, and continued to operate them under sail.  Some of course foundered and some on Cayman.  The steam vessels didn't have to use the wind/current channels of old, they could now go when and where they pleased so largely avoided Cayman.

This site was right next to yet another cemetery.  I've not mentioned this before but there are cemeteries everywhere.  They are really ornate and this one was no different.  In addition there appeared to be a digging party in the cemetery as a load of people were there, many digging away and seemingly having a party at the same time.

A private cemetery at Prospect Point

But the beach itself on this part of South Sound was actually lovely.  Not the calm and quiet waters of 7 Mile Beach, but roiled by the endless ocean swell and currents coming up from the south.  Today being calm and quiet, everything looked beautiful but I can imagine it being nasty when the wind picks up.

A more recent ship wreck on South Sound

All in all, a great day!

Meeting Elvis!

I know.  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Great tag line by the PR folks that promote Las Vegas to the world and it really is a neat tag line too.  Wish I'd thought of it first.  And I know it all took place a month ago but in my defense I got a little busy and then forgot about it which is a mistake as its not every day that you get to meet Elvis.

The Real Thing

Again I know Elvis is no longer around having eaten his last banana and peanut butter sandwich in 1977, but this is Vegas!

It all happened because of Rosie really, one of my cricket mates.  He loves Vegas and as he was getting married (to Kim), he really wanted to get married in Vegas too.  So he invited a few Associates cricketers to the bash and even more surprisingly a few of us decided to go.

Rosie organized a collective hotel (the new Vdara, an MGM hotel) and a few parties/shows.  Viv and I didn't fancy Shania Twain so saw a comedian instead who was so laid back and low key that he seemed virtually asleep.  But still all good fun really.

Springtime in Las Vegas at the Bellagio

Next door to the Bellagio

The wedding was at the LV Country Club and all went beautifully actually until that moment when Rosie decided to sing with the band.  What a dreadful voice!  Mind you it was all a cunning ploy for he stopped half way and introduced Elvis to the audience.

Las Vegas Country Club wedding vale

"Love me Tender..."

He had a nice voice too.  Maybe not quite like Elvis the original but still good and of course he sung a few of Elvis' love songs and the big finale...

"Viva Las Vegas!"

The King & The Associates -- Rosie, Ruthless and Cookie

And as for the rest of it, well what happens in Vegas...

March Madness in Miami

5 hours down the Florida Turnpike from the Villages lies Miami and at this time of year a big ATP 1000 point tennis tournament in Key Biscayne, just over a bridge onto one of the islands nearby.  We'd been to this tournament a couple of years back and enjoyed it mightily so decided we'd return with some friends Judy & Keith and Jo & Stan who had a place at the Villages.

We decided to stay downtown and catch the daily shuttle to and from the tournament as transport is the one thing that doesn't work for this tournament.  Most other things work fine: seats are really close to the action, all the good players turn up, the weather is good and the city is as vibrant a place as there is.

Day 1 was a disaster primarily as nobody on either side knew what was going on -- the bus driver to the event barely spoke English and asked us where we'd like to go -- nor did they know at what time any buses to or from the event would likely travel, the result being that we arrived for an on the hour departure but actually departed on the half hour, actually after the half hour as our bus driver was talking to his mum (or something).

Day 2 though and subsequently was just peachy -- same driver but this time he and we knew what was going on.  Seeing as this was Day 6 it does make me wonder why on earth nobody had wondered about this before.

The first day (Friday) wasn't so hot and in fact rained for 4 hours in the afternoon but we still managed to get some great tennis in -- Monaco vs Ramos (vamos Ramos!!); Dolgopolov vs Davydenko (davai Nikolai!!); and after a couple of rain effected false starts Simon vs Hewitt (allez vous-en, Simon!!).  It was a day for alliterations.

Dolgopolov & Davydenko -- ''Davai Nikolai!!"

Gilles Simon with some old geezer.

Drying the lines

Hewitt finally in action -- "Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie..."

The rain delay late start for the final Simon/Hewitt match plus the transport snafu meant that we made it back to the Conrad Hotel on Brickell Avenue around 11 pm and decided to try and get fed and watered there.  Now the Conrad is a nice hotel with the Concierge on the ground floor (where the shuttles left from) but the hotel began on the 25th floor and that was where the sky bar was located.  In the lift up was Pat Cash -- recognisable by the cross ear ring and the fact that I'd played tennis with him and Arri last year at Coral Beach in Bermuda.  I reminded him of this fact and whilst he was mighty gracious about things, it clearly did not stand out as an event alongside his Wimbledon championship.  But it did strike me that while he was being comped to come, stay and play, most other things (e.g. offsite food) was on his own account as he was carrying various cereals from the supermarket to which he kindly directed us.

So to sum up, Pat Cash has a lousy memory for past tennis matches but perfect clarity about the nearest supermarket.

Unsurprisingly he was thoroughly charming throughout.  But then again he's a tennis playing Aussie, so why should anyone be surprised.  I've met a bunch of the old greats and to a man, they are all the same great guys.

The Saturday was a scorcher (and I have the sun burned lip to prove it!) and the tennis on the Grandstand court was fantastic.  We had the battle of the beautiful single handed back hands with Gasquet vs Rochus followed by some big servers: first Isner vs Dodig and then Raonic vs Rufin.

Gasquet

Rochus' beautiful backhand - had he been 3 inches taller, he would have won Grand Slams

A side issue with Isner is that it is amazing just how bad a tennis player he is.  If he wasn't 6 foot 9 inches and had an unreturnable serve, he'd be playing with me at Pomander Gate... maybe.

We also squeezed a couple of doubles in -- the English pair Marray/Fleming losing a 3rd set tie break before the main event which was Hewitt playing doubles with new Aussie hope Tomic whose lack of interest enabled Dodig/Melo a comfortable win.

The Sunday event was again seamless.  I chatted with a Wells Fargo mortgage guy whose view on people who defaulted on their loans was fairly straightforward -- "kick those bums out, they don't deserve to own a home".  Mind you he said that they should fold now, go into bankruptcy and in a couple of years come out and try again.  That's what I like about the US.  There's no stigma in failing.  You just dust yourself off and get up and try again.

I've just finished a fantastic book by George Friedman called "The Next Decade".  It was written in 2010/11 so a couple of things have moved on but the biggest take away is all US positive (a position I usually take anyway -- also Friedman says the UK is the US' best and increasingly most important ally so of course I like that too!).

The thrust of the book is that the US have fallen into empire, not necessarily by design, and don't realise  it.  The stated fear being that without a moral framework to guide them, things may fall apart.  The next decade is key to this for a number of political and economic things are coming to a boil so the US presidents this decade have to be pretty darn skillful.  Great book, thoroughly recommended reading.

Returning to the Wells Fargo guy, being from Miami he has his finger on the pulse and told me that the place is booming again.  Cranes everywhere and they are lending like crazy.  Ladies and Gentlemen, the train has left the station...

The Sunday games took us one step on from the prior matches the best of which was Tommy Haas (no underpants) hammering Dolgopolov.  We also watched him play doubles with Malisse who also played singles against Nichigori (and lost) and then some more doubles before calling it quits.

Tommy the pantless one and Malisse

Great stuff and the following day we discovered the Metro and how to get around the city for $2 AND the best Japanese noodle shop in Miami (www.momiramen.com).

Great trip.  See you next year!!

The Welcoming Bubble

For quite some time now friends of ours had suggested we visit them in the Villages, an active retirement lifestyle resort north of Orlando in Florida.  Its an interesting concept being for 55+ active retirees who want an adult only place to live, where activities are organised for you (many free) and where the weather is pretty much always warm.

Many Bermudians had decided to buy homes there, some of whom we'd got to know over the years so as we were in Florida due to watch the Sony Ericsson tennis tournament in Miami, we thought we'd take a side trip up the Florida Turnpike to check it out.

Now I thought it was only 2-3 hours away but it turned out to be 5+ hours but with GPS getting there was a breeze which is just as well as once you get to the Villages proper, it pretty much all looks the same.  Apparently there are 15 different house styles to chose from but if that was so, it sure didn't look like it as we would discover as we checked out half a dozen houses during our stay.

Florida and the location of The Bubble

This is what they say about themselves on their website:


The Villages is an active retirement community located in sunny central Florida. Conceived over 50 years ago (by a man named Howard Schwartz and carried on by his family), our hometown has flourished under the guidance of the family who created it, our dedicated employees, and most importantly the folks who call The Villages home.

Our purpose always has, and always will be, “To create a retirement community where people’s dreams can come true.” We continue to redefine retirement living by offering the best in homes, lifestyle and amenities for our residents each and every day.

People drive around in golf carts and being America they come in every design your heart can think of. That means life is pretty slow burning but then there's the activities and clubs all ready and available for you to enjoy.

Love the eyebrows!

There are 3 central towns that serve each of the Villages.  One in the north (old part), one in the middle (10 or so years old) and one in the south (new and in process of being built).  That's where all the restaurants and shops were located, each with a different theme to them.  They were also the social gathering centres where nightly entertainment was available free to all.

Spanish Springs (the older one) with plenty of golf carts around!

The friends we stayed with (Andy and Christine) had bought in the Villages a year or so back and stayed there 3+ months per year (but always for less than 4 months, the maximum allowed for US tax reasons).  Being a year or so younger than us they'd had to acquire special dispensation to be allowed to stay there and they'd joined right in there.

Being young and fit, they were the jocks on the block in every sport!  That meant for the duration of our stay we'd have that chance too!!

The sport of choice for this showing was to be 'pickel ball' -- a short tennis court varietal.  Being tennis players and young/fit we thought we'd rip the joint which was pretty much what happened... until we came up against some villagers who knew the game and suckered us in to a pick up match.  Putting on prosthetic knee braces, arm and wrist braces and generally parking the zimmer frame by the net, they simply crushed us with jolly cries of "Ooh, that was lucky.  I don't normally serve like that!"

The pickel ball court.  Note the yellow plastic hole-y balls you play with.

Beware the oldies!!

As for adding our name to the muster role of 'Villagers' or residents of the 'Bubble' as our friends called it, well maybe we'll think about it in another 10 years time when we'll have had a chance to practice pickel ball.

Still a believer

I've been in the investment business for 20+ years now and still manage to get caught up with believing my own cleverness rather than my own eyes.  As a CFA we create empirical models that examine an issue all ways into the future, past and even in a 'what-if' scenario.  Having done that we come up with a conclusion to sell this and buy that.  Its all very well but on days like today I do wonder if we all actually get out often enough and smell the roses.  If we did, we'd probably use a bit more common sense which often means an all new direction.

I'm in Toronto at the moment, a wonderful city, returning from Cayman to Bermuda the long way.  Why Toronto, people ask.  Well why not?  I like it a lot and I like Canadians too.  Its a great north American city with loads going on.  Nothing like New York, people may say.  That's right, I say even though I do like visiting the big apple.

There was a recent cowboy movie I saw on cable a month or so back concerning a gun slinger in the old west that was being pursued by a posse and nipped over the border into Canada to escape pursuit.  It was a prairie town in the middle of nowhere and this gun slinger of course headed straight to the saloon and picked a fight with a big guy who pummeled him unmercifully. Being a gun slinger he pulled his 45 and called the guy out.  Immediate bemusement was the result.

"Why would I want to do that?" said the Canadian guy.

"Because we have to settle things" said the gun slinger.

"We just did.  I beat you" said the Canuck.

"Well... we just gotta.  Go for your gun," said the gun slinger.

"Well its at home," said the Canadian.

"Why would you leave your gun at home for goodness sake?" said the gun slinger.

"Its not bear season," said the Canadian.

At that moment a number of his friends offered up their guns, choices being shot guns, hunting rifles and the like.  

"No, no," said the gun slinger.  "Hand guns.  Don't any of you have a hand gun?"

"Well, no," said some other guy in a slow voice.  "They don't slow a bear down none.  They only just get him riled up a bit.  Remember old Doug?" he said.

"Oh yes," said another.  "Shame about old Doug.  Those things only have a decent range of 10 feet and you don't want to let a bear come that close."

The point being of course these Canadian guys just couldn't figure out (a) why you wanted one of those short range hand guns that didn't aim straight and couldn't stop a bear and (b) why you wanted to shoot someone else anyway seeing there was only about 8 people in the whole darn township, each of whom had a specific job that they all depended on.  Hence the fist and lack of hand gun solution.

I don't remember how the movie ended up but the point is that I like Canada and Canadians as like New Zealanders they have an intensely practical outlook on life, get on with everyone and allow everybody to do pretty much anything they want.  All in North America too.  And they don't hassle you too much.

All this is a roundabout preamble to this post as today I went to possibly the best sports bar I have ever been to period.  And I've been to quite a few.  This is the Real Sports Bar next to the Air Canada Centre in downtown Toronto.  (That's another reason to like this city -- you can walk anywhere or get public transport that actually works to all the big venues).

The thing they brag about is that everyone really should be able to watch the BIG game on a 2 story high TV screen.  And having done so, I agree!

Great bar!

This being a Sunday, I walked back along the underground PATH network connecting the downtown area under ground to combat the awful cold weather and wandered through a relatively quiet Eaton Centre.  Having been through 2 football matches on 100+ screens playing 20+ different sports I was struck with a couple of big notions: (1) we have become a world of watchers not doers,  (2) content therefore is very, very valuable and (3) delivery systems are also very, very valuable.

None of these are earth shattering conclusions but they came one after another as troop after troop of families entered this sports bar rather than going outside to kick a football, hit a hockey puck or play some other game.  The fact that we've all got bigger too (and nothing to do with those 32 ounce soda mugs either) also militates more towards a sedentary approach to life sadly.  However that said the presence of all those plasma or LED screens also turned my thoughts to delivery systems: telecommunications, broadband and anything that can play content.

Yesterday being Saturday I'd also struggled through a jam packed Eaton Centre and found the most jam packed places to be the phone stands and of course the electronic shops.  I am casually thinking about changing my blackberry which has ceased working on the phone side for something better and wanted a smartphone of some sort.  Lord, there's a lot of them to choose from!

I waded through Best Buy, Wind, Fido and Kidoo trying to find an unlocked phone that would work around the world but being unable to decide that paying $500+ was a good idea (phone alone, not including the plan), I've come to the conclusion not to make a decision just yet.  That doesn't stop oodles of others getting stuck in and as I mentioned before the costs in so doing are not insignificant but people are still lining up to do so.  (One big reason to own phone company shares is their ability to generate huge amounts of cash flow which I witnessed yesterday in the Eaton Centre).

On my 50th birthday I and some friends went to New York for the weekend and we visited a new Apple store where the first iPods had just gone on sale.  The queues went around the block to get in.  One friend and I bought one, another checked his email (already had one) and the 4th called his broker up to buy the stock.  It was at $22 per share.

I thought I'd do a similar test on this Sunday afternoon and see who were doing the best.

The big Sony store was virtually empty.  Sony have had a dreadful time business wise losing money hand over fist for years now.  You could point your finger at the expensive Yen but I just think they've taken their eye off things and lost the plot.

I counted more staff than customers inside.  It was tea time I suppose...

The phone stores were empty too.  Yesterday they were jammed with people but today none were busy at all.

Bell Canada's shop on a Sunday afternoon.  All the phone stores were the same.

There was a new Microsoft stand in the middle of the floor selling the new Surface tablet and it was pretty much dead too.  Now Microsoft seems to have concluded that just selling their software isn't enough and that by not controlling the delivery as well, they were essentially giving up.  Like IBM, Microsoft aren't quitters and while I don't like the Surface and their software much, you have to give it to them for putting a lot of money where their mouth is.  I don't think they're there yet, but don't count them out just yet.  They'll eventually get it.

Late to the game, but don't count these guys out!

But the Apple store as always was just heaving with people.

Who's not buying Apple stuff?  Not these people.

So pundits pointing the finger at Apple and suggesting they are on their way out, can you please tell me why people who don't listen to you scream on the business channels or read your silly conclusions in the trash media simply don't care?  They are still voting with their feet and their pocket books.

Now where's my broker's number?

Changing Places

I like American Airlines.  I really do.  I've linked my credit cards to their mileage programme, I've chosen the One World Alliance as my preferred travel group and every time I travel I try to use AA first and only when that doesn't work either for cost or convenience do I use another airline.

Here's a generalization too.  Airlines suck in the main.  Airlines in the US the most -- OK the budget ones in Europe are rubbish too but I don't use them as much.  Far Eastern airlines by contrast are nice -- it all comes down to the service really.  The high oil cost sucks up most of the airlines' revenues so cutting service is the only way they can do more than break even (AA is currently in Chapter 11).  Who in their right mind would buy shares in an airline?  Well I would actually if the price of oil falls a bit more but that's not the point of what I was about to say.  Airlines have become glorified buses -- convenient and largely commoditized.  My dad was an airline pilot in the 1950's and 1960's and back then it was THE classy way to travel and it was priced accordingly ... and of course oil was dirt cheap too.  If you don't believe me, watch the Leonardo di Caprio and Tom Hanks movie 'Catch me if you can' and see how pilots were treated.  THAT is a realistic portrayal of how pilots were considered -- the rock stars of the 50's.

Everyone has their airline horror stories, me too but they mostly get resolved with a bit of give and take on each side.  And really moving millions and millions of pieces of luggage and only mislaying the odd one is pretty good.  Yet the thing I don't get is the advent of the computer and its integral part to play in the lunacy that is pricing airline tickets.

Years ago AA in concert with I think IBM developed the first integrated airline ticketing system called SABRE.  It revolutionized the process of airline travel.  Before that everything was hand written on multi-part multicolored tickets that actually looked pretty stylish now that I come to think of it.  Now a central computer could figure out routes, flights and prices. It was a massive innovative advantage for AA and one that they were able to leverage across the airline industry.  Scroll forward to today and everyone has access via the internet to similar capabilities from the sanctity of your own front room.  And it was there back on December 14th 2012 that I made that fateful reservation MMYSRJ.

It was quite simple really and thankfully worked out alright in the end (see my earlier posts from Costa Rica) but at a quite substantial and nonsensical cost of both time and money to both me and AA.

All I wanted to do on MMYSRJ was to fly from Bermuda to Costa Rica via Miami.  It took 10 minutes and my credit card to do.  Fantastic price too for business class.  $892.21.  Quick, easy, just perfect in fact.

Then things went pear shaped for I decided that seeing as I was near my office in the Cayman Islands and was flying through its main gateway city, Miami, I just had to pay a visit.  Having been through what in retrospect were minor flight changing idiocies I realized that I had to call AA to make the small change of turning right as it were to Cayman instead of going straight on to Bermuda.  I would return a couple of weeks later retracing my steps and join the Bermuda flight.

All that was needed was postponing my Miami/Bermuda flight by 2 weeks.

This sounds incredibly simple to me.  Just change the return date and create an all new return air ticket to Grand Cayman in between.  The connections worked out just fine (both in theory and in practice).  So could I do this?

Well, 'yes' and 'no'.  Actually more like 'no' and reluctantly 'yes'.

The ticket I had purchased on line was in a certain class and that class couldn't be changed as it was a through flight to San Jose so I couldn't stop in Miami, I had to carry on.  That was what I wanted, I told the AA phone operator.  It was on the return leg that I couldn't stop off.  I had to continue straight ahead.  But I cannot anyway, I told the AA operator.  US regulations mean I have to clear my bags and then re-check them at Miami so technically I have stopped off in Miami.  If I wanted I could head into downtown Miami for lunch and then return for the onward leg, so why couldn't I instead fly to Grand Cayman?  And then came THE answer that mattered.

The system won't let you.

And here is THE crux of things.  It is a logical, no thought processor that determines how we fly, what we pay and whether we get bumped or not.  Common sense is markedly absent.

The computer was told by me to book a ticket from A to B via C which it did and priced.  Why on earth would I then want to change it?  Illogical.  You make a decision.  You stick with it.  Very Doctor Spock like, the Star Wars Spock not the other one.

"You humans are illogical"

Because I changed my mind!!

Well, you can't.  

OK then so what if I re-book the self same ticket and factor in the trip to Cayman?

Well, I can do that for you, sir... now let me take a look, factoring in the side trip to Cayman, the change fee and the re-pricing of the flights, that's an extra $2,600 sir.  Can I go ahead and make the changes for you?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  What do you mean an extra $2,600?  That's insane.  I could simply walk off the flight and go and buy another ticket to Cayman and you'd never know about it and it would cost me far less -- (actually $400).

You can't do that, sir.  The computer would then cancel the ticket.

Which ticket?  

The Miami/Bermuda leg.

That's OK.  So why can't I do that then?  I have to clear my bags in Miami anyway.

The system won't allow it, sir.

How will it know?

I realised I was rapidly falling into a rabbit hole rather like Alice in Wonderland but didn't have the security of knowing if a mystery mushroom would be waiting at the bottom to make me either larger, smaller or preferably take me away from all this insanity altogether.  Anyway the AA operator suggested I go to the airport and have a go there seeing as this wasn't working.  As we have a ticket office in the centre of Hamilton, that's where I went.

My visit to the AA office in Hamilton was another lengthy affair this time one on one, almost.  The AA lady having grasped the essentials then had to get on the phone presumably to the same operator I had spoken to in vain for it took quite a while for the AA lady to speak to me again.  The suggestion was why not re-book the entire flight so it would be Bermuda/Miami, then Miami/San Jose with the return leg being San Jose/Miami and finally Miami/Bermuda.

But that's what I'm doing already!

No you're not, sir.  You're flying Bermuda/Miami/San Jose there returning San Jose/Miami/Bermuda.  Its a completely different flight.

No its not.  Its exactly the same!  

Not to the computer, sir.

The computer again!

OK then, so can you try that then please?

Certainly sir, simple... now repricing this, the full fare will be $2,092 which makes another $1,200 plus the $150 change fee.  Shall I make the changes, sir?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  What do you mean $2,092?  Its exactly the same flight and exactly the same seat.  How can that make sense?

Perfect sense, sir.  Completely different trip.  Would you like me to now price the add on flight to Cayman?

Sure, why not.  Please go ahead.

That will be another $400, sir.  Shall I book it for you?

Actually no.  We went back and forth for a while trying to make a common sense connection which is actually difficult when one person has been conditioned to think in computer-speak.  However we made it through the barrier finally.

What if we try to simply book another trip leaving this one alone, sir?  We book a return flight to Cayman and then a one way ticket to Bermuda.  

This took a while of back and forth on the telephone with some other AA person.  The AA counter clerk clacked away on the computer for a while asking what 'codes' to enter and ultimately BUQIPS popped out -- a snip at $771.85.

It was better than $2,000 so I agreed to this solution.  The plan being that I simply not complete the final leg on my previous ticket and check into the new flight -- which I believe is what I suggested somewhere to someone somewhere along the tortured and torrid way.

All worked fine until the day before I was due to leave Costa Rica when I received an email from a work colleague saying AA had called and would I call them back.  Fearing the worst I called AA as requested who told me I had 2 reservations to leave Miami and that the computer was about to cancel them both as there shouldn't be more than one.

Note the twin reservations from Miami to Bermuda supposedly disallowed by 'the System'.  I think I may have had a 3rd reservation on my new ticket -- BUQIPS!

Why would both reservations be cancelled?

Because the system doesn't allow reservations for the same person the same.

But that's what another AA person suggested and ... (here I paused waiting for effect using a compelling counter argument, or so I thought) ... if I can't have 2 reservations in the system, why did it let me do it in the first place and why did you, AA, recommend that course of action?

I don't know, sir.  All I know is that the system won't allow it and is about to cancel one of your reservations.  Which one would you like me to cancel?

Neither!  So now I'm about to go from having 2 reservations to none and be out of pocket by nearly $2,000 because the 'system' doesn't allow what it did a few days earlier.  But then the AA operator had a brain wave.

You could fly back to Bermuda on that day and fly out of Bermuda on the early flight the next day and we reprice that ticket for you... that would be $700 out of Bermuda one-way to Miami.  You can then pick up your connection that you've already booked.  That way you could keep both reservations active.  Shall I do that for you, sir?

But how does my flying back to Bermuda and out again the next day affect the tickets I already have?

You would have completed the full journey back to Bermuda, sir.  That is in the system.

The S-Y-S-T-E-M again!  I asked to speak to a supervisor as I'd been on the telephone for 45 minutes at this point and after a while a supervisor came on.

The issue, sir, is the business class ticket.  Its always full on this flight.  Maybe we could try it in coach for a better price... now here's a solution for you.  15,000 air miles, $8.20, in coach and an upgrade to business class.

Sounds a lot better to me but I don't understand why I need to get an upgrade to business class as I already have an assigned seat.  I'd be upgrading to my own seat!

That's not the way the system lets me do this, sir.  I have to put you in coach and then request an upgrade.

But its my seat!  If I say 'OK', surely you just cancel my current seat and then put me straight back into it using the upgrade as the seat that has just become available is my own seat and so I would in fact get upgraded to my own seat.

Oh no, sir.  It becomes an entirely different ticket and an entirely different seat.  But I have managed to waive the ticket change fee and mileage but it will still cost $8.20 to complete.

I know when I'm beaten so I paid the $8.20 and at the airport things went smooth as silk even though my upgrade was given to someone else!