Charlie

I hadn't realized so much time has passed since we first met Charlie. I've always liked the name but for some reason I've never known any Charlies. I know a Charles, just the one, but nobody could ever suggest that he'd want to use the more familiar form.

It wasn't going to be Charlie. I'd suggested Mark Joseph II as a strong contender but Indy seemed solid on Daniel. But definitely not Charlie.

He wasn't punctual either. Big yes, but on time no. Mind you he wasn't that late, I suppose. Just a couple of days. But I suppose that even with the advances that have been made these days, getting the precise time of delivery is still tricky.

Meet Charlie!!

Very excited of course. Our first grandchild and very lovable he is too. Happy Christmas!!

The Big Apple in 24 hours

A short while ago, I was in New York and my youngest Ali flew in to join me. It was meant to be a weekend but life intervened so it turned out to be only a little over 24 hours of father son togetherness and I meant to make the most of it.

Ali lives and works in Cayman but on occasion goes to Bermuda for work as well so it was fairly simple for him to jump on a plane for the 1 1/2 hour hop to JFK. I'd suggested he take the subway and I'd meet him and walk him around for the next 24 hours.

First thing was a late breakfast and I chose Sarge's Deli which I knew made the best all around corned beef hash in the world. Topped with 3 fried eggs and home fries, this is a real breakfast!

We ached as we came out but with the weather an unseasonal and balmy 23 degrees with bright sunshine, I proposed to walk Ali all over town. With New York set out in a classic grid pattern, all you needed to know are cross streets and you can find anywhere.

Ali needed some shopping, personal items, so we hit the stores. Midtown Mall is right next to Macy's so after blanking there, this was our target for Ali was on a budget. This all made me realise just how much US retail is suffering. There's so much of it, so many people looking to buy too, but with incomes not really rising and Amazon crowding out many retailers, those that remain have a tough time surviving.

We found a fairly ratty JC Penney as it happened with the men's department hosted by an attractive young lady who found a very special deal for Ali. I would have been absolutely mortified to be served in this fashion when I was younger and actually let an attractive young lady know what undies I wore, but then again being from the old school of Speedo's and tighty whiteys, perhaps that would be the case now too. Ali being from the new generation of board shorts and boxers held no such feeling.

As we had a subway card, we hopped on the subway for positively 4th Street (a nod to Bob Dylan who used to live there). This is Greenwich Village and home to our evening's entertainment. I wanted to show Ali the clubs and of course actually confirm that something would be on tonight. Cafe Wha was still there with the House Band due to start up around 5 pm, and around the corner Bleecker Street was also there and ..... had become almost gentrified. Possibly a Starbucks even.

When I first went to NYC back in the 1980's, it was dirty, edgy and a bit grungy. Some nice parts too of course but it had a definite Noo Yawk edge. That was one of the things that made it attractive. Perhaps it was the crack cocaine epidemic which hit the big apple in the mid-eighties? I never saw that in person but do remember walking up 5th Avenue at night near Grand Central Station with a work colleague and a couple of big black guys wearing reddish blazers came up behind us and said 'keep walking'. I hadn't a clue what was going on but my colleague said 'don't worry, they are the Angels'.... it may have been a different name but these were guys that roamed the street at nighttime to prevent people from being mugged.

There you go, the Guardian Angels.

It was Rudy Giuliani who was responsible for cleaning up NYC sometime later with his no nonsense policing tactics and I think he did a great job at that. New York is unquestionably a cleaner and safer city than it was but as we strolled along Bleecker Street, I did get the feeling that it had been tidied up a little too much. Gone were lots of the old grungy bars and eating places, gone were a number of places that showcased music like the Blues and Jazz. However Terra Blues still remains and we were able to confirm that there would be music later on.

We turned left up Broadway and because it was so lovely a day kept on walking. And walking. So much life to be seen in a city when you walk around it. New York is so fascinating too. You may think that being a huge city it has no distinctive bits and pieces but that is totally untrue. Korea Town, Japan Town, Chinatown, Little Italy, Hell's Kitchen... some great names too! Sarge's Diner was in a section called Murray Hill (2nd and 30-something). There were actually a few hills too, but not too drastic. Because big retail is suffering so much, mum and pop shops proliferate which I think is great as the independents reflect the community to a large extent and add great feel to the place. OK, I am a fan of the big apple. It's a real pleasure to visit.

Of course I wanted to eat at a venerable NY steakhouse but first choice Keens was full and Del Monico's could only manage a ridiculous time so we settled for Frankie & Johnnie's Steakhouse on W 37th street. It was great... of course. Steaks were huge and done beautifully. Martinis sang to us. Just a perfect preamble to the rest of the evening.

Cheers!

After this we soldiered back down to Greenwich Village for the Terra Blues experience and after some bar hopping, we finally arrived. I am pleased to say it was just how I remembered it. Small, low ceiling, little tables with chairs dotted around the club and some terrific blues. We stayed for 3 sets and made it back to our hotel about 3.30 am.

The following day was a Sunday so we wanted brunch which we found to be what almost every other New Yorker was doing as well. The myriad eateries that offered it were packed solid ... it was another lovely day so this is not surprising, however I remembered a Greek place on 1st Avenue and we wandered down there and were richly rewarded with piles of pancakes, French Toast and other goodies that you associate with brunch.

As we left JFK to our different destinations, we both agreed that we'd probably skip the next couple of meals.

Some Early Mosques and some bloody pigeons

We'd felt for some time that we hadn't done enough 'culture' or 'heritage' here in Penang since we arrived, actually nearly 2 years ago now.... doesn't time fly? So we planned to do some more and earlier this week we went on one of Michelle's Spiral Synergy tours which would include the 3 oldest mosques in Georgetown. Well attended and very interesting indeed. The tour guide, Teresa, was fun which made for a good time all round.

The mosques are all within a few hundred yards of one another but if you wander round and round in circles enough and stop for some interesting tea and cakes at a Jawi cafe, the time passes most agreeably without too many gaps where you wonder what else? What was interesting about each mosque is the demographic that attends them as all date back to the early 1800's, just after the British arrived, and were built on land which even then was in the middle of what was then downtown Georgetown. The city/town back then was essentially 6 blocks back from the water (Beach Street or Jalan Pantai today) and no more than a dozen streets going left to right in a grid pattern. So that means there used to be 72 (or so) blocks where all commerce and in general all life took place for there were no other settlements on the island back then.

The British set aside what they thought as the best bits for them of course but also for the Indians they'd brought with them (mostly Tamils from south India who turned out to be muslims in the main), the Chinese who rushed in as soon as they saw what was happening (mainly Hokkien people from Fujian province) and also the local Malays who came over from the mainland too.... except that in the main they were not Malays, rather Indonesians trying to get away from the protestant Dutch who were forever fighting a rebellion in Aceh, a town in Indonesia only a very short boat ride away (less than 1/2 hour by plane these days). So, multiple demographics with obviously multiple requirements for their holy houses. Even today, the demographic separation remains broadly intact so Indian muslims rarely go to an Indonesian mosque (and of course vice versa) and neither attend other than rarely the newer Malay mosques.

I'd always wondered about what the colour scheme of old Penang was for today so many buildings look dilapidated in the World Heritage part of Georgetown. Apparently there were 3 colours, sky blue (with the colour coming from a local tree's berries that grow everywhere), yellow like in the photo (derived from cow's urine mixed with the white wash that is also prevalent. Local cows eat local mangoes and the result is very yellow apparently) and green which is a combination of the other two. Must have been very colourful. Makes me happy coming from Bermuda where houses are all lovely different pastel colours to think that something similar was happening here too. All old photos are black and white so of course impossible to know how colourful or not things really were. I like the colourful thought.

The big mosque on what used to be called Pitt Street was where we had the big talk from a local learned man. A very lively and jovial Indian who said his name was Dong and that if we wanted to remember him, we could always think of a bell and go Ding.... I believe he could make a living selling ice to the eskimos.

Someone had told me the mosque had been named after a pre-Colonial era ships captain of great renown but Dong told us that 'Kapitan' simply means leader and 'Keling' means Indian people. Another myth squashed!

Dong (or was it Ding?) took us on a whirlwind trip around the big mosque describing the pre-service washing requirements, why you kneeled on lines of carpet (hurts the knees otherwise apparently!), how you prayed, when you prayed, what the calling on words actually meant (pretty much 'time for prayer, get out of bed' for the morning session, similar thereafter), the fact that the Imams were not religious people just normal people who had something to say... and a whole lot of other stuff. He gave out free pamphlets on topics like 'Science in Islam', 'The Truth about Jesus', 'The position of Women in Islam' and other topics too. So easy for me to be cynical and describe it all as being a sell of the religion, but I'd like to think it was someone reaching out trying to dispel some myths. The fact that he used to be a Christian and converted (apparently he and Teresa were long time friends so both laughed about it) came up and I immediately thought about Saul becoming St. Paul and how he basically created the Christian faith out of a mish mash of ideas, facts and fiction. Not so different really.

A question on terrorism and radical Islam came up (it may have even been Ding (or Dong) who raised it unasked, come to think of it). Also the different sects; sunni, shi-ite, wahabbi (sp?). He brushed across the top of it. 'If someone kills or harms another person, he is not a muslim. He is a killer.' As for the sects... 'there are no sects in the muslim faith. All those others aren't Islam.'

Lots to digest then as we continued our stroll across the street in fact to the next mosque, which was actually not a real mosque but a shrine, called the Nagore Shrine. It was in crossing the road that I was attacked.

I'd like to know who ever came up with the notion that being pooped upon by pigeons is good luck .... OK I know, my mum did. But who else? Total crackpots (Mum excluded of course), that's who. It is nasty, smelly and really downright unpleasant. Of course Google has a myriad of links to totally gormless websites that devote column inches to this topic. Here's one:

I’m sure we can all agree that we’ve had our fair share of annoyance with bird defecation – it leaves a nasty stain on our cars and clothing, and any time birds are around, we’re instantly aware of their presence and hope that they don’t decide to use our clothes (or skin) as a toilet. It’s simply become a random, everyday occurrence and constant annoyance. How could anyone ever like it?

If you agreed with any of the statements I’ve said above, then it’ll come as just as much of a surprise to you when I say bird poop is actually a symbol of good luck. Believe it or not, there’s an entire mythical world behind the existence of and the importance of when a bird sh*ts on your car. If you’re a bit skeptical, keep reading.

For centuries, birds have always been, to a degree, mythical creatures; the Phoenix is an example of this in many cultures. Imagine, an animal able to simply spread their wings and glide across the sky with no issue keeping in sync formation with the birds around them.

Unfortunately, the price of being an airborne member of the animal kingdom is never knowing or having the appropriate means of defecation. Where would their waste go if they have no time to reach the ground to release it? Good enough for birds though, they’ve figured out the answer to that question long before humanity could even form adequate societies: give the humans good karma if they ever had a direct encounter with their droppings.

The main reason why we get mad at seeing bird poop “fly-by’s” is because of its unexpectedness and the annoyance brought on by the thought of cleaning it up. That doesn’t stop the Karma Gods from working, which in turn will bring you good luck and good fortune. With that being said, the next time you see bird poop in someone’s (or your own) hair, clothing, or windshield, don’t get mad – take a sigh of relief!

Numbskulls! I really don't need any self help dummy to tell me in 5 repetitive paragraphs of inanity that being pooped on is nasty. Really. As for the Phoenix... who cares about the bloody phoenix? It's a mythical bird. Not real. Getting pooped on by a bloody pigeon though, that is real life mate.

So it was with a less generous demeanour that I crossed the street into the shrine. It is both old and a bit ragged to tell the truth. But it is what it appears to be. A living, working place of worship not a gilded palace. I instantly felt the people here would understand my pigeon issues.

RTW sort of by Accident

Last week we returned from quite a long trip as it turned out. We hadn't meant it to be like this, witness the number of times we had cause to change airline reservations, but it sort of just happened.  The plan, if you can call it that, was to be in Zurich when our first grandchild would be born.... yes, I just slipped that in. Quietly. And yes, both Viv and I are very excited indeed! Around the same time however were a different couple of dates that we would not be able to change but which had to be included: namely a board meeting for me in New York as well as a 90th birthday party for Aunty Blanche in Bermuda.

Due date for the big day was 1st October for the longest time then all of a sudden it was pushed back, then not again. Not something that could be set in stone, that's for sure. Our grandchild would come when he/she was ready and not before. This didn't help much in our planning for, as everyone knows, those paragons of customer care, let's just call them 'airlines', do not take kindly to last minute booking and changes despite what all those "I traveled the world on $100" smart Alecs say. The later it became, the more painful it was.... for us needless to say. And as I said earlier, we had to make changes seemingly every week all of which increased the pain threshold. Fair to say I am heartily sick of aeroplanes, airports, airlines, mindless bloody stupidity at the airports, endless security lines, aeroplane food (big time), not being able to sleep, immigration procedures that change seemingly change all the time yet when you comment 'this is new', the official gives you a blank stare so you try to remember not to comment on anything but smile in a sort of glassy and fixed way every time someone asks something arcane like 'what brings you to...' -- I mean, I just landed on a plane for goodness sake, what do you think I am here for? To visit.... derr!

Anyway rather than go through a blow by blow for each stage, I'll do it by photos:

1. England

The land of Brexit and Boris Johnson! It seems to have become the only topic of conversation. Will we exit on October 31st in Boris's words 'do or die' or was it he'd rather be 'dead in a ditch'? Doesn't matter, everyone was speaking in ridiculous hyperbole like this all the time. 'End of the world', 'total disaster', 'catastrophic'.... you name it, these are the words of the time. Made me glad that we wouldn't be spending a lot of time here, just a few days with Viv's mum Anna.

Reculver Castle on the Thames Estuary is an old Roman Fort, church, you name it what else. The twin spires seen here are only kept as markers for shipping otherwise they'd be allowed to fall down.

Just had to eat the best fish n' chips in the country! Still great.

That other institution, the Sunday roast. Random country pub and it was fantastic.

Visiting the Royal Naval Dockyard at Chatham. Really interesting yet sad to me for it is now a tourist attraction seeing as there is very little Royal Navy left to service.

The Turner Modern museum in Margate I thought would have paintings of said Turner, a local lad who painted mid 19th century industrial type paintings, particularly steam ships, but it had the annual competition going on with artists like this doing modern stuff. The interpretation I found a little less than helpful.

2. Switzerland

Indy and Cat live in Zurich so it was there that we flew next. We stayed in an AirBNB in the centre of Zurich and found that the public transport was cheap, really efficient and on time. Trams, buses, trains... all really clean and a pleasure to use. We also found it was Oktoberfest time! So we had some fun before the big day arrived.

Quite a raucous affair it was too!

Taking our new grandchild for a walk. Felt like a supermarket trolley but of course just like everything Swiss, it really does work!

3. New York

After only a few days I flew through London again (ugh... horrible airport) to New York for my board meeting. Happily Dee Dee came to join me for a couple of days so we were able to hang out and go crazy. I dragged him all around Greenwich Village into bars and blues clubs.... great time!

Found time for the big steak too!

4. Switzerland (again)

Viv had stayed on in Zurich whilst I traveled alone to the Big Apple and I was looking forward to going back to join her, Indy, Cat and our beautiful grandchild for a few more days.

5. England (again)

One thing we have never managed is the knack of traveling light. I am always totally impressed by people that travel only with a carry on even when they are traveling for weeks or months. I imagine their choice of wardrobe is therefore limited but even with umpteen bags I find myself wearing the same trousers and shirt all the time. However this time we'd smartened up a little and actually managed the side trip to Zurich with just the one big bag... each, and had left the other two big bags in England. Hence England for a couple of days.

We took in a visit to a winery nearby which courtesy of global warming is now a producer of very decent bubbles, Balfour Estate. The tour guide explained that the owner had sort of bought the grape producing fields 'by accident' a few years ago and set to wondering what to do with just another 150 acres of decent arable land. He is very wealthy.

6. Bermuda

Thankfully we flew out through Gatwick, not Heathrow but I do have to comment on car rental firms. First time was Avis, second time Hertz. I go by price not loyalty so the companies change all the time for us. We get to see a variety of operators as a result. For some reason, this week no company had any cars to rent! This is Heathrow, one of the world's busiest airports. I'd booked ages in advance so was OK but people who rolled up on the off chance were totally out of luck. At Hertz, it was a pick a number and wait your turn thing! Unbelievable. 

It wasn't until our last day at Gatwick that we managed a full English breakfast! Very nice.

Great time of year to visit Bermuda by the way. Sunny and warm, yet no humidity. We stayed with Charmaine and David again and it was just lovely to catch up with friends. Dee Dee was working there too so we were able to  hang out with him as well.

Aunty Blanche's 90th birthday party was lovely. She got to sit next to her favourite person, Dee Dee, so was very happy. Very pleased to be there with her. Happy Birthday Aunt Blanche!

It was also lobster season so we just had to...

A week or so before we arrived, this hurricane came to visit. It was a bad one causing plenty of damage. Very unusual for Bermuda. No loss of life thankfully.

7. Toronto

We've a condo in downtown Toronto which is a lovely place to stay, however we have also found that the best long distance routing from Penang is first via Hong Kong and then onto wherever via Cathay Pacific. Direct to London and Zurich going west, and direct to New York and Toronto heading east. All are very long of course but the Toronto routing really works out best for us. Only for a few days this time.

8. Hong Kong/Penang

Transiting through HK still hasn't been impacted by the troubles going on there ... yet. 

Life and Death in Penang, well mostly Death really

We just came back for a trek that took us round the world, rather to our surprise. It just happened that way. We wanted to be with Indy and Cat when their new baby was born (our first grandchild!!) and then we sort of just carried on. I will write about that in a separate post but during our trek we for some reason realised that we have just done maybe two things as a tourist/visitor in the near two years since we arrived in Penang. OK we had sort of planned it this way thinking that we'd go with visitors, but when that happened we .... well didn't. Whoops and all that. So we decided we'd do something about it when we got back.

There's a monthly newsletter sent around by mailing list by a long time resident English lady named Michelle who just loves this place and just loves organising things, or so it seems to me. Anyway first up was a tour of the old graveyards in Georgetown narrated by a guy we'd run into one of our other tours, Clement. Very informative it was too. Particularly as Georgetown has magnificent colonial heritage dating back to first inhabitation in 1786 under the purview of one Francis Light and his employers, the East India Company.

Francis Light only lasted 5 years in Georgetown before he succumbed. He didn't want a fancy gravestone so was originally buried very simply but about 100 years later in full Victorian vanity, the local burghers upgraded him to this one.

Back then of course the population was tiny and the first settlers started in the area of the harbour from where the town expanded outwards. However small the population was did not deter the onset of death for this is the tropics, aka the white man's grave. So graveyards were needed and needed fast. Immediately however rose a problem... what to do about the catholics.

The Jackson family was particularly unfortunate

Sounds ridiculous today, but really does it? Back in the late 18th century, church was much stronger than today and from Great Britain it was solidly protestant, and in the early days solidly Church of England (CofE). The laws of the land (now including Penang) discriminated actively against catholics primarily via the Act of Settlement which prevent catholics from holding any high office (still do as this Act has never been repealed). The law itself is a hangover from the end of the Stuart era and start of the Hannoverians, which in itself is a longer hangover from the Civil War, and was aimed at securing royal succession in Protestant hands as both the last Stuart Queens (Mary and Anne) could not keep any of their children alive whilst Dad (the ousted James II) and his catholic heirs had no such problem (remember Bonny Prince Charlie?). Check it out on Wikipedia here for the fuller story. Anyway when the couple of hundred first colonists/settlers arrived, they included both protestants and catholics and the local bacteria and other bugs had no problem getting stuck into the pair of them irrespective of religion. So graveyards.

First, there was a sort of NIMBY thing regarding graveyards so they were set aside well out of town (then anyway, not so now) and on land that was rather low lying that nobody really wanted to build upon anyway. A wall was built delineating the protestant side from the catholic side with the lower land (and hence far more prone to flooding) given over to the catholics. Typical.

The very ornate gravestones apparently are all Scottish families, but you can see the wall in the background

Second, what to do about all those others who also showed up? In addition to the original settlers came traders from other nations as well as people from the mainland and elsewhere seeking work in the new bustling trading entrepôt (which immediately shut down Malacca as a place of importance). The Dutch retreated (actually they were ejected) to Java, their possession. Nearly forgot and backing up a bit, when the Dutch originally arrived in the early 16th century, they kicked out the incumbent Portuguese who were/are catholics. In the 150 years or so that the Portuguese had been in Malacca and elsewhere they had intermarried so virtually everyone was Eurasian by now and with the Dutch persecuting catholics, they simply left with many going to Phuket where by coincidence they met with the same but younger Francis Light who later founded Penang. He took up with a Eurasian girl (probably married her but this would have been a social gaffe of the first order back then, so he said nothing about it to his employers) and when he came to Penang and saw how many new settlers were catching everything going and dying in droves, invited the Phuket Portuguese to come along and pad out the numbers again.

Aaaagh! What a palaver. All these catholics but at least this lot were almost European. Can't have any of the new locals in the graveyards too.

Third, some of the locals (Chinese, Indians, Armenians, etc.) turned out to be terrific businessmen and did really well becoming extremely wealthy in the process. It also transpired that they were prone to dying too (although not so young as the newbies).

The upshot to all this was the typical British muddle/compromise. If you had the wherewithal, you were in.... except the catholics who went the other side of the wall.

However the Japanese were no respecters of well, pretty much everything if you read about their actions in WWII and simply bombed the place to bits.  Part of it anyway. The Catholic side was locked up so we couldn't go inside but looked pretty much empty of gravestones. If it wasn't the bombing, it was the flooding most like. No, most likely the protestants!

Spare a thought for the Jews though. They had been in Penang since the start but in far smaller numbers. Clement said the Jews that came to Penang were from the Middle East not Europe. Turkey, Persia, Mesopotamia. They were/are a different tribe to the Europeans and had their own ceremonies and ways. Francis Light when he set to creating Georgetown created enclaves for the various races and sects. The Jews had their own together with one synagogue and one graveyard.

The different Jewish tribes have different burial traditions. Some of the gravestones are triangular, some rounded. All are supposed to point towards Jerusalem.

All gone now. The Jews left after the Seven Day War in 1967 for Israel, the synagogue closed but the graveyard which was slated for redevelopment was saved by private donations (as it is to this day). It is maintained by an Indian family and remains beautifully cared for. This ensures that people don't break in and desecrate the gravestones (which did happen in the past).

These days the main Christian graveyard is on Western Road and is pretty huge. Again the theme throughout is that they are beautifully maintained. Clement tried to raise some enthusiasm for this graveyard but in reality it was far less interesting than the older ones. Exception being the mausoleum remembering the crew of a Russian warship which had the misfortune to be visiting Penang at the outbreak of WWI. A German raider, the Emden, snuck in at dusk one day and sunk the Russian vessel with heavy loss of life. Thankfully not the captain... he was tucked up in bed at the E&O Hotel with his mistress. History relates that he was recalled and court martialled. Every year the Russian ambassador visits the site where a remembrance ceremony is held on the anniversary of the action. Clement said this happened even during the Soviet era. Nice.

By now, all were going through graveyard fatigue so clearly this was the time for the visit to the new catholic cemetery. Typical protestant bias! I've driven past the graveyard a hundred times, its on a main road, but had never seen it before so this was nice.

The names were mainly Chinese with a few Portuguese names like De Silva and Perreira thrown in for good measure along with some Indian and western names. But really... no trees! In every other cemetery there were lovely trees giving pleasant shade but here... nothing! Hope some get planted soon.

Perspective

The world or at least the western world seems to be having a mass frenzy of self examination about the environment. The young girl that seems so angry about everything and is blaming big business (or so it seems to me, but it could as well be grown ups generally) for ruining her future is embarrassing large global enterprises into having a more eco-friendly corporate policy. It seems to be working (the embarrassing bit, not sadly the actual impact on anything bit) at least in the UK where all political parties are promising zero carbon this and that by what seems like the middle of next week if the electorate just vote for them at the 12th December general election. This is all just fine as I believe that the world is in an environmentally sticky position and something needs to be done. It's just that perspective is massively missing and the action is being focussed on in all the wrong places.

Now I don't want to sermonize, rant or moralise about things, particularly the rights and wrongs of the whole environmental question, but it does seem to me that turning off lights or no longer using single use plastic bags doesn't really help much despite what the media and environmental activists may say. This isn't a popular position to have but I recently found someone that agrees with me. Here's an excerpt (read the whole thing here):

But we aren’t very good at thinking about scales and proportions. In general, I think, we assign things a value of ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and bracket them all together in those two categories. For instance, we feel good when we take a bag-for-life to reduce plastic bag use. But you can make 1,000 bags for 6kWh, while boiling a kettle takes about 0.1kWh, so you could make 16 plastic bags for the energy cost of just one round of tea.

From a purely climate point of view, your plastic bags are largely irrelevant. Reducing plastic waste is also good, of course, although again, Western countries account for a tiny fraction of the ocean pollution we worry about — almost all of it comes from Asia and sub-Saharan Africa, in fact.

This last comment caught my eye for as someone spending a lot of time in Penang, Malaysia, I see the evidence of this every day. The above article redirected me to the underlying statistics (see here) from the Our World in Data website from which I found a whole raft of data supporting this position. Basically, if nothing changes to the way in which pollution of all sorts is made, anything done by virtually anybody in the West is simply a rounding error.

Now...

... and projected

What a dismal prospect and I will leave you with this additional factoid:

None of this is meant to make you stop taking care over the small things: look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves, as they say. There’s nothing wrong with stopping using plastic bags, although you need to be very careful that you don’t lose your cotton bags-for-life, since they use about 100 times as much energy to make.

Keep your perspective.

111

Things have changed.... and yes I do feel like my mum and dad who like everyone's parents were for ever saying something along the line of 'things aren't what they used to be'. I imagine this to be the same for everyone getting older, maybe moving away from their home town or country, and then returning for a visit or maybe even to stay. Like me.... now, for instance.

It wouldn't have happened this way had I not eaten those MacDonald's chicken nuggets. That's what I think anyway even though Viv had some and was perfectly fine. Anyway the reaction was let us say, quite remarkable in an explosive sort of way. All would have been OK had we not been flying to England the next day but without going into graphic and rather ghastly detail, let me just say a near 20 hour flight + layover combo in such circumstances is not one to cherish.

Again all would have been fine and dandy had things just cleared up in a couple of days as they usually do but they hung around without showing signs of abating. I didn't eat for all this time and just drank water, lots of it, but the reaction didn't show any sign of change so I felt I should see a doctor.

Now, the NHS is touted as THE be all and end all national health service globally but for some while now, if you are not registered with a GP you can't just walk into a surgery and ask to see a doctor. You have to call 111 and speak to a call centre where --- and this is according to a doctor whom I spoke with later on --- you speak with a non-medically qualified call centre person who asks a series of questions based on an algorithm and then provides a course of action. For me, the questions were name, age, what's up and then it homed in on my country of residence (Malaysia) and that I had a tummy upset. In all, after getting my name and DOB, probably no more than 6 or 7 questions in all before the call centre lady said she's asked enough and that if nobody called within an hour, then the ambulance would come and take me to the hospital.

"WHAT????" What on earth was this all about? "What do you mean ambulance? Is this serious?"

"The ERT people will be able to check you out better and tell you more when they get there." This really wasn't that comforting at all.

"Isn't this a bit like overkill? Surely there's other people who are really ill and need assistance like this more than me??"

"Are you refusing the ambulance then?" the voice said very sternly.

"No. no, no, of course not. It's just that usually I would go to a doctor and they'd give me a prescription and in a couple of days I'd be right as rain."

"So has this happened before? Not the first time, then?"

I could see where this was all heading. This was a conversation I was never likely to win. This algorithm driven diagnosis was her job and there was absolutely no point in getting into debate with someone who could not change things up. I'd discovered before when battling with the UK pension people that the first layer of call centre person was the best chance you had of getting anything done. One layer up are the people whose job it is to say "no" and beyond that comes the threat of some sort of dire consequence which would not be to your advantage. In my limited way, I had triumphed back then but this time when it was my health that was on the line, I could not get out of my mind the thought that 'My God, I'm going to die'.

So I asked whether it would be easier if I just went to hospital on my own and the lady said yes, go to the A&E department of either Margate or Ashford hospitals 30+ miles away in diametrically opposite directions. I asked whether I would have an appointment and the lady said no, I'd just have to wait my turn.  This was not good news as the newspapers continually talked about 9 and 10 hour waiting lines at the NHS hospitals and when I looked at the online reviews (which do exist, just Google them), they were not good.

Right after, I did what I should in retrospect probably have done first, namely call the firm where I have global health insurance and ask them if they had any local doctor or medical support nearby. They said go to the Chaucer Hospital and gave me a phone number. They also said one of their doctors would call me later and talk through my symptoms. He did a few minutes later and it was he that told me about how the 111 thing works (the bit about call centres and algorithms) and then we talked through my symptoms, upshot being that I felt that my best way forward was to call the Chaucer Hospital which I did and made an appointment for the following day.

It was a private hospital so I would have to pay for the visit but the wait was less than 5 minutes and I walked out with a couple of prescriptions probably no more than 20 minutes later.

I don't know what the message is in all this other than if you have to rely on the NHS, you'd better be prepared to wait and if you are from overseas or like me haven't lived in the country for quite a while, then you are pretty much out of luck. Alternatively, maybe I should have simply walked into the first doctor's surgery I could find and ask to see the doctor. The old fashioned way.

Did I ever say that I don't like call centres? Or the 'system'? Or multiple levels of mindless bureaucracy? Or...

42

Maybe it's just me but in the last couple of days, mathematicians have been able to solve one of life's most intractable mathematical problems and uncover the meaning of life as defined by Douglas Adams' wonderful book Life, The Universe and Everything (here is Wikipedia's note).

I feel kind of sorry that this has happened for this is a mystery of life that has been solved... by a math geek, using 100 connected PC's. This was the issue:

The original problem, set in 1954 by University of Cambridge researchers, looked for solutions of the Diophantine equation x3 + y3 + z3 = k, with k being all the numbers from one to 100. Beyond the easily found small solutions, the problem soon became intractable as the more interesting answers could not possibly be calculated, so vast were the numbers required. But slowly, over many years, each value of k was eventually solved for (or proved unsolvable), thanks to sophisticated techniques and modern computers — except the last two, the most difficult of all: 33 and 42 (read about it here).

It all seems .... a little flat. I'd have hoped for fanfares, maybe an angelic chorus or two and the Great Redeemer saying 'well done, now I've got a really tough one for you'. Or something like that. But all we got was a You Tube video.

I much prefer this answer.

Haze. Pea Soup.... let's just call it Pollution.

This last week has been unpleasant so far as the weather is concerned. It is the time of year that Indonesian farmers burn fields to make ready for new planting to take place in a few weeks time. The foliage has dried out so it is much easier to simply burn the scrubby bits left over from last year than manually prepare the ground. So they burn. They don't have to do this and in fact there are laws forbidding this practice, but it still happens and nobody takes action. It's not new news out here but it is in the West. This is what the BBC has to say about it.

Penang is highlighted. The wind here is negligible for the next few days so we will be suffering from this haze for a while yet

It has been going on forever and this is the time of year that it all takes place. For Penang, the areas that most affect us are in Sumatra and with the South West monsoon season here until Christmas, the SW winds that prevail are simply pushing this ghastly messy.... haze all over us. It wasn't anywhere like this last year from memory; apparently it is really bad this year.  Even Bloomberg is paying attention.

I remember growing up the fogs or rather pea soupers in the towns in England. Dense fogs that would hang around for days. For those of you that do not know about these, here is Wikipedia's comment. These fogs were brought about by the coal burning that everyone did in those days (and people wonder why coal has become bit by bit an untouchable fossil fuel) and it wasn't until the 1950's that policy action actually did anything about it. I remember our shirt collars being coated in grime and coughing continuously and the phlegm. Yuk, it was black. Respiratory diseases were prevalent everywhere. I had whooping cough when I was really young and coughs and colds all the time later on.  Pneumonia, TB were everywhere. Mind you every adult still smoked like chimneys.

The tipping point was the pea souper of 1952 which is shown here at Piccadilly Circus. You wouldn't know it was but you can see Eros to the left.

The important takeaway from the above is that regrettably it took 'policy action' to do anything about the pea soupers in England.... aka government intervention by law. I recently read an interview with a very prominent engineer who ran BP for many years (here is the full interview transcript) whose view on the world was from a very engineering viewpoint, of course, but the context was that companies would not do anything until policy makers make them. The technology to fix things is all there but it is not being used because companies don't have to.  Here's an edited excerpt:

JOHN BROWNE: Well ...oil or wood or cutting down forests, but also giving people a very different modern way. So... we’ve created a problem and I’ve been on this point for almost a quarter century now saying... it’s the oil and gas industries that’s created this problem and we need to fix it. And the way to fix it is not to stop engineering, is to apply more engineering to solving the problem...And actually, in this area, I would say that we have already all the engineering processes to stop pumping ... CO2 into the atmosphere and actually even to clean up some of the CO2. The problem is that the ...engineered products are too expensive until they are all rolled out in massive scale because …This is where policy comes in. So in other words, policy has to push these …new engineered products to the point where they become more economical. You don’t have to invent, we need to apply and this is where engineering is very good because as you apply more and more, so the unit cost comes down. We know that for sure. So you need a policy lever... the biggest policy lever you need is a price on carbon. Carbon taxes...have got to be priced high enough so that people can and will actually do something to get it out of the system.

The argument that fixes cost money simply don't wash. This was the argument the car industry used in the 1960's but the lead pollution laws were passed and the issue went away. The car industry is now running pell mell to be the first to produce mass market electric cars.

So all of this is both avoidable and fixable. Granted the developing nations don't want to hear developed nations who polluted away years ago sanctimoniously tell them what to do. But the alternative is pretty desolate.

This week versus normal times

The Summer Game

I have been addicted to cricket probably since I was 5 or 6. My mum introduced me to the game by bowling to me in the back garden (my dad was Polish so thought we were all mad). My forward defensive stroke is all down to her. Not a bad one either, even if I have to say so myself.

The thing that really did it for me though was the TV coverage by the BBC. Back then (we are talking 1959-60), this was the era of Peter May, Colin Cowdrey, Ted Dexter, Fred Trueman, Brian Statham and others. Glorious to watch but they did always seem to lose when they played Ashes test matches. Actually, it has pretty much always been a battle against the Aussies in Ashes tests and in my memory with only relatively few high spots; virtually never away from England.

Earliest cricket memories include the batting card on TV. These days all computer driven and presented. Certainly more efficient, faster in production and informative but what a loss! In those days it was hand written by someone who had beautiful copper plate writing. I can't remember who the opposition was but my first first TV memory was Ted Dexter getting out for 180 and the batting card disappeared and then reappeared with the full details.

I started formally playing when I went to Eton House School at the age of 8; no chance of that when I was at the catholic convent Lindisfarne as the school was run by Belgian nuns. I'd had great success playing in our driveway against other boys and girls (yes, even then) but discovered after being no balled for 3 successive deliveries in my first over at Eton House that that was most likely due to the fact that I had been throwing the ball all the time. This meant a total reworking of my action and is most likely a key reason that I never quite made it to play for England at Lords. My pace dropped sharply!

I did make it finally to Eton House 1st XI a few years later. Back row, 2nd from right

Fortunately, and this is where I tip my hat yet again to my mum, my forward defensive stroke proved a formidable barrier and surprised everyone at a time when nobody owned one. The typical 8 year old stroke was a wild swish or a curious type of prod of the type you'd use if you had a hoe in your hand and you'd come across a snake in the grass. Many years later I'd endlessly train/torture both Indy and Dee Dee in the back garden on the use of the forward defensive with tennis ball or cricket ball as they got older. They didn't make as much use of it as I did but when we all played together it was noticeably still there, somewhere.

Our last game all together at Shelly Bay, Bermuda

I mention this as the wonderful cricket season has just about come to an end in England. My county Essex is challenging for the county championship with Somerset but it is a tight thing as the final game is against Somerset so will be a sort of winner take all affair. I shall be on tenterhooks!  However the Ashes test matches against Australia have just finished with an England victory in the 5th test making the series 2-2 with one match drawn, even though sadly the Aussies retained the Ashes as England didn't win the series.

If you are cricket followers you will know that the matches themselves were pretty low standard affairs. Neither set of batsmen could cope with the quality of the bowlers and on balance the Aussie bowlers were the better lot... except for a couple of the guys. One Aussie, one Brit. The Aussie simply ground away for hours on end and scored a gazillion runs in the series evoking memories of Don Bradman, the greatest of them all. His name is Steve Smith and do look for articles about him or rather his performances. Here's one to start with. The Brit is a totally different kettle of fish and is a fine stroke maker but in this series with England only one ball away from collapse on every delivery, he was forced to adjust his style to grind away too. It is strange to watch someone who clearly isn't that good at something but puts so much effort into doing it anyway because that is what the team needs and really has to happen, but that is what watching Ben Stokes bat like that was all about. Where Smith knew what he was doing and could go about things calmly, Stokes had to force it with the result that for much of the time he was stroke less and run less. This whilst all about him collapse and panic reined (this is England's batting) until there came a point that there was only him and the last man and another 73 runs to win. Total mindset change.

Stokes knew he could not rely on the last man, after all he was a bowler not a batter even though he was one of those salt of the earth, get knocked down but get up again, kind of guys. Totally gawky but very, very brave. Where others ducked and bobbed and weaved as the ball whizzed past their heads... and then got out to very poor efforts, the 11th man, Jack Leach, stood tall, swayed in and out, kept his eye on the ball and bat away from it so it could not inadvertently take an edge and be caught. He 100% looked the part and immediately became a legend, rather like Eddie the Eagle in ski-jumping. Not very good but very brave and very determined.

And totally against the odds at the other end Stokes simply did what he does best and smashed the formerly formidable attack to all parts. Sixes and fours everywhere off everyone. Until the score reached single figures left to win when Stokes grew nervous. First he went for a wild thrash and missed it and the ball hit him on the leg right in front of the wicket. The Aussies appealed for LBW (leg before wicket, one of the ways in which a batsman can get out. If the ball hits the leg and would have gone on to hit the wicket, that could be out LBW). Not out said the umpire.... the TV announcers were howling at this point. They knew that was wrong. The ball WAS going to hit the wicket but the Aussies were not able to review this decision as they had already reviewed two others incorrectly in the innings and were consequently all out of challenges. The TV showed the review and it was absolutely out. Stokes would have been out, should have been out and the Aussies should have won the test match but the umpire got it wrong! The crowd were going crazy. Next ball another frenetic thrash and both Stokes and Leach made a total hash of running with Leach running towards the bowler's end where the ball was being returned and he knew he would be yards short... when the bowler blinked and missed the ball and as he fumbled Leach was able to scramble home. Again, Leach should have been run out, England should have lost, and the Aussies should have won the match and the Ashes, but this time it was the bowler who made a hash of the whole thing.

Next ball Stokes thrashed it into the crowd again (in all he hit 8 sixes in this final dramatic run assault/chase) and that was 2 to win. But it was also the end of the over and now Leach had to face all 6 balls of the currently finest fast bowler in test cricket. He casually flicked a single, his only run in the entire process, which brought the teams level and next ball Stokes thrashed the winning boundary and the celebrations began.

I was screaming too at this point. I recorded it and have watched the last amazing hour 3 or 4 times. Every time I still don't believe England did it. They really shouldn't have.

**

I'd thought that the World Cup final some 6 weeks ago now was the most dramatic, exciting, unlikely day of cricket I had ever seen... In that game between England and New Zealand played over 50 overs per side, the Kiwis scored some 245 runs, way below what an acceptable score should be. These days teams knock off 300+ with regularity so all of a sudden England was firm favourite. This changed within 5 overs as the English batters realised to their alarm (and doom) that although the English bowling had been mean, tight and penetrating and did a great job restricting the Kiwis to such a small score, the Kiwi attack was every bit as good and that in fact the pitch was extremely awkward and did not allow for a side to simply smash a decent bowling side all over the place. It took one batsman, again Stokes, to steady the ship after a clatter of wickets and amidst an ongoing debacle at the other end and approach the final over with the not inconsiderable amount of 15 required to win.

The first two balls he did not score. Then the third he hit for 6!! Then on the fourth he wanted to run 2 and hit it to the boundary where he tried to run 2 but it looked very much like he would end up short and be run out .... when the ball thrown in from the boundary hit him as he was running and ran off to the boundary for 4 overthrows, making this shot a .... 6!! Or maybe something else. Did Stokes mean to do this or was it an accident? If accidental, then overthrows. If deliberate, then out. The crowd was going crazy. The umpires hadn't a clue what to signal for that 4 overthrows ball but after deliberations it was obvious that Stokes hadn't a clue what was going on either and that the ball had simply hit him and run away. So after multiple TV replays, they came up with 6 scored and 3 left to win. Two balls to do it. The bowler bowled and I'm afraid like Dirty Harry in the first movie, in all the excitement I kinda forget what exactly happened, but they did run one and the number 10 batsman was run out going for the second. And then on the final ball, the exact same thing happened again. He tried to run 2 but only managed 1 with the new batsman run out well short of making his ground. So a tie!!

Sudden death single over ensued. England to bat first. It would be Stokes of course and another big hitter. 6 balls. Most runs win. Only 2 wickets allowed. First ball Stokes hit the ball into the crowd!!.... which went even more crazy, and for the remaining balls the pair of them managed to amass 14 runs. A decent amount. The Kiwis turn was next and first ball was a .... no run, dot ball!!! The crowd were going wild. I was going wild.... I was watching it on my phone, I think in the car. My friend John was on a bus in France.... and he was screaming! Next ball the batsman hit it miles into the crowd! Aaagh!! 9 left and 4 balls to do it. Runs and balls ensued and left 2 runs needed on the last ball. One to tie, 2 to win. The batsman hit it to the fielder on the boundary who collected it cleanly and threw it in what was probably his greatest ever piece of fielding and the batsman was run out by a whisker. Another tie but England won it.... not because they scored more runs than the Kiwis but because they scored more boundaries in their innings.

Did I say that cricket is full of weird rules?

**

I'm a Test Match guy. I just love the fact it takes 5 days to reach a conclusion which may well be a draw... no result in fact. I know this makes no sense to some people but it is how it is. In the old days, test matches could be played to completion; so-called 'timeless tests'. That's how teams could rack up nearly 1,000 runs in an innings and still get a result... think Ashes test of 1938 at the Oval. In the 1980's it was decided to add a 6th day to one Ashes test match as an experiment. The result was one of the dullest day's play I have ever watched and with one batsman scoring the dullest century of all time (it wasn't, most like. It just felt like it). So even enthusiasts like me have their limits.

The 50-over One Day Internationals (ODI in modern parlance) are also fine. In club cricket this is effectively what everyone in the world only plays. It may not be limited to 50 overs per side but games have to be finished in a single weekend day and the practicality of it all makes it to be around 50 overs per side. Of course in club cricket, a draw is possible whilst in official ODI matches (like the World Cup final for example), there has to be a result. This is a key difference as it makes the end of any match a frenetic thrash for the team batting second whilst in club cricket the game meanders along most pleasantly.

The shorter form matches, called T20 these days... 20 overs per side, are usually played by we humble amateurs as an after work thing. Again practicality kicking in. In June/July in England you can squeeze in 25 overs but by August you are struggling to make 20 overs as the evenings start to close in. By September you are lucky to get 16 overs in. In Bermuda, we always struggled to get 20 overs in with 14 being usual by late August. Again no draw possible in these games which resemble a thrash from start to finish.

My Bermuda evening league team in 1995

15 or so years ago, cricket left terrestrial TV in England (formerly the BBC). Yes, the English Cricket Board sold its soul for money to the subscription TV services. In this year's World Cup final, by special concession, the subscription TV service Sky agreed to let terrestrial TV take the feed so people could watch free. 10 million people watched. For the final day of the most exciting test match for a generation, barely 2 million paying customers watched. Not a coincidence.

In 2020 a new limited over series called the Hundred will take place. Only 100 balls will be bowled per innings making this even faster than the already frenetic T20 competitions. The already crowded cricket schedule is being changed to accommodate this new circus and the 4-day championship and 5-day test matches are being shunted aside willy nilly. Sponsors are flooding in. Mercenary cricketers for every nation are signing up. TV companies and the ECB are rubbing their hands together thinking about all the lovely cash they'll rake in as the shorter forms of the game are highly popular with non-cricket fans .... of course for the good of cricket and not to line their own pockets, solidify their power base or ironically (or maybe not so) in any way improve the quality of test cricket played by the national team.

Sounds like a lot of sports, governments, quangos, corporations.... tail wagging dog.

I hope the 2 million or so that have subscription TV enjoy the circus. I'll stay with the live feed I've found of Essex playing county championship cricket.