Skate, the Korean Way

My last post left Viv and I departing Penang for London at the end of April. Our overall plan was to spend some time in the UK with Indy, Cat and Charlie and then for our paths to divide: Viv to Bermuda with her Mum Ann whilst I would go to Rome with my tennis buddies for the Italian Open, pasta and wine. I would then head to Bermuda to reconnect and then we would all troop back to England and thence on to Greece, our ultimate destination and realistically the reason we were doing all of this traveling in the first place.

Despite the raising of Covid restrictions, fair to say that travel is not yet back to its pre-Covid levels of seeming normality. Simply handling all that bloody paper work and getting those tests is a real pain in the neck. But at least we are able to travel. First comment is to say that British Airways is just about hanging on. Number of flights may be fewer but they are trying hard.

On the way from Bermuda to London I couldn’t watch any of the drivel shown on BA’s appallingly low standard in flight fare that was in English. I did find a cooking show concerning 2 Korean chefs who flew to Malaysia to eat seafood and in particular skate.

As they discovered Skate is not found in Malaysia but various rays are, so their quest began in a Kuala Lumpur street market eating sting ray mostly in various ways.

They loved them all. I do too even though I haven’t been to eat ray in KL, only Penang in the north. One such favorite was skate cooked in a creamy durian sauce.

Durian is a soft fruit indigenous to Malaysia. It is everywhere in Penang. It is something you either love or hate. This is because it has the same texture, smell and to me anyway the taste of shit. 

One of the chefs loves durian, the other does not. The non lover found the dish delicious whilst the lover waxed and waxed ever more lyrical about it. It looked slimy to me. Thankfully no smellovision.

The chefs then went to eat at big restaurants, Malay, Chinese and Indian which are the three main ethnic groups in Malaysia. Having savored the fare (non sting ray fare) and lapped it up, they then decided to do a big cook up for their new Malaysian friends and feature skate which they would import from Korea.

Koreans love fermented food. Kimchi for example is fermented cabbage based. Fermented for the unwary means aged in polite terms or nearly rotten if you want to put it plainly. 

The skate was 15 days old.

Thank goodness for no smellovision!

They cooked a dish each. One chef prepared a sort of kimchi appetizer featuring deep fried fermented skate. The other cooked a dish where the skate was first braised then mixed in with a sort of Mediterranean salad featuring avocados. They also did a together dish featuring a cream of durian sauce.

The three chefs sat at a table excitedly discussing what they might expect and then the appetizer appeared. The kimchi and fried skate dish. They took their first bites. 

Silence.

I know that sound from my own experiences with cooking something. Probably the first time was when I was on a boat on the Norfolk Broads in England with some work friends. We took turns cooking and one day was mine for breakfast and I pushed the boat out. We'd had quite a bit to drink the night before so I thought a nice greasy cook up was in order, including a favourite of mine; fried bread. My mum always fried the bread in lard so I'd bought some and added it to the rest of the delicately fried goodies. To me it was great if perhaps a little leaden both on the plate and in the tummy after. To the others, it was just plain silence. I never had to cook again that trip. 

Back to the story...

One chef took a drink of water and said the dish was very interesting and contained flavors she’d never had before. This was the Indian. The Malay chef said ‘yes it was interesting and very nice’ before taking a sip of water. The camera didn’t show what the Chinese guest chef said.

The braised skate came out next and the guest chefs took a bite.

No silence this time. The Chinese chef said it reminded her of stinky tofu, something often found in Chinese cooking. The Malay chef said yes and after a little while again said it was nice.

The final durian dish came out. The Indian chef had left by now and generous portions were heaped out with rice. The two remaining chefs took a bite.

Clearly both chefs love durian for they waded in with gusto. Both said the creamy durian flavor dominated the dish …. Aka they couldn’t taste the fermented Skate, thank goodness!!

As someone who likes fresh skate very much, I think I may have struggled with these dishes. Great fun to watch though.

Visitors Volume 3 -- Charlie!!

The whirlwind continued with Indy, Cat and Charlie due to arrive for a couple of weeks. We'd talked a lot about the coronavirus and whether they should still come but as that point things hadn't deteriorated as much as later, the answer was yes!! Couldn't wait. Also they were flying in through Doha which to that moment had had no issues... another plus!!

It all seems such a long time ago now though for as I write this we are into Day 4 of the lockdown here in Penang due to that *&%$$#%#@ coronavirus. It is quite amazing how fast it has taken over the lives of I would think everyone on the planet.

I wonder what Charlie will think. Obviously he's too young to have a detailed memory of his trip here but he had a whole series of firsts whilst with us (as did Mum and Dad) including:

• first time in a swimming pool

I think he enjoyed the swim

• first time seeing orang utans ... he slept through most of it so maybe that memory won't be too strong
• his first laughing session with a cuddly warthog; that character from the Lion King movie courtesy of Uncle Dee Dee

At this age, they seem to grow up bit by bit before your eyes. If there's something he didn't do yesterday, well he's doing it today and he's an expert already. 

But he would not roll over. 

He would but obviously he wasn't that fussed as he put either an arm or leg in just the right spot to stop him rolling over. I'd push him but after the first time that he immediately vomited onto the carpet, I stopped doing that. Don't get it. If he just rolled over, he would be able to push himself up on his arms and start to at least think about crawling. When he was having his 'tummy time' he'd almost immediately roll over and lay on his back like a dead bug. He would be waggling his arms and legs though and often laughing and chuckling to himself.

As for mum and dad, well obviously lovely to see them too. Viv and I were able to take Charlie for the evening actually on three occasions so they could have a date night out. I say Viv and I but it was mostly Viv, I was almost useless and had forgotten almost everything about being a new dad but Viv just picked it up from where she'd left off with Dee Dee back in 1989 and rolled on.

Food as can be imagined played an enormous part. We'd been winding Indy up in particular and had many (far too many) gastronomic events. The one he'd been looking forward to the most was the seafood dinner with congee as the last course that I'd told him about. It was again terrific. Our friends Lisa and Ted came along with us too as it needed to be a big affair so we could order enough things. I shouldn't have worried!

Like I said before, it all seems such a long time ago. The virus here has formally put us into lockdown nationwide until 31st March but today's paper suggested that may have to be extended to 60 days as people here keep gathering together contrary to health warnings about the virus' spread. We don't plan to be going out anywhere other than for food and other necessary things. Writing this I wonder if the next time I see Charlie, he'll be walking or not.

Doesn't matter, I'll treasure the time they were all here with us. 

Charlie's and my evening ritual

Visitors Volume 2

With Dick and Anna leaving, Hannah arrived. Hannah is Viv's god daughter and is on a post university tour around the world. As Hannah's plan was to spend 3 weeks in Hainan Island in China around this time, tacking on a week before would be easy. It didn't turn out that way later on but nobody had heard of coronavirus at that time.

We decided that amongst all the hanging out, eating and drinking we'd also head off for some outings and as Hannah's degree was to do with marine biology and environmental protection, we thought take her out for some animal-y things, starting with the butterfly farm called Entopia.

This was the first time we'd been there and it was really good. Lots of butterflies of course but also the big monitor lizards and other things were there too. Sort of an aquatic zoo as opposed to an aquarium.

Clever, they had laid out these hibiscus flowers and covered them with I think honey so the butterflies swarmed all over them for the benefit of we patrons to enjoy

Another day we drove out to Bukit Merah to check out the orang utans again. We'd done this before with Hannah's mum and it was really nice to go back particularly when we ran into one of the celebrity occupants who was riveted by the actions of a workman and tracked what he was doing. We'd had virtually no rain for months by this point so the lake in which the orang utan refuge island stood was at a very low level exposing lots of the foreshore. As there had been a fire at the centre a short while before, there was plenty of debris lying around and it was this that the workmen were clearing up.

I watched for ages and of course this is ridiculous but after a while I had the notion that I knew what the orang utan was about to do. I used the 'well of course their DNA is a 97% match to humans' hypothesis for my incredible scientific breakthrough, but its true. I just knew that when the workman got close enough, the orang utan would just scrabble away at the sand and throw a handful at him. And he did! Really hilarious to watch!!

Mind you, I didn't share this mind meld that I had just experienced with anyone else. I kept that to myself.

We also went back to Kee Lok See temple at night to check out the lights which were truly spectacular. This time we climbed the 7 storeys of the pagoda and were rewarded with fantastic views. The lights were terrific.

All along Hannah had been in touch with the school in Hainan where she was supposed to be teaching English for 3 weeks when all of a sudden she told us there may be a problem with her getting there as there was a disease that was spreading all over, a new type of virus.

We'd heard that there was something going on in Wuhan in China but not much else. However as we all know now, things moved fast from this point and the virus spread out exponentially to the point where the school said sorry, no children to teach so no need to come. I think we were all a bit peeved that that had happened for Hannah's sake not realising the enormity of things for after this cases started cropping up in other countries too. We suggested that Hannah should therefore head south to Australia instead as she had another internship organised in Sydney after the proposed Hainan trip which in the end did happen.

Our farewell dinner -- Korean BBQ

In fact all ended well for Hannah organised a nice road trip along the east coast of Australia to her new internship. Bon voyage and thanks for coming!

Visitors Volume 1

In early January, we'd just returned from spending Christmas in Canada with Dee Dee and the following day Viv's mum Anna moved in, swiftly followed by Viv's uncle Dick a day later. This is Dick's first visit and he hadn't seen Anna for several years. 

It was just before Chinese New Year started (which began in the last week of January and lasted 2 weeks this year). It is the Year of the Rat so everywhere was highly decorated with what looked to me less like rats but more like cuddly-ish mice so everywhere was very pretty and as it is the new year, pretty much everything was cleaned up too.

We did a lot of stuff! 

Georgetown's UNESCO World Heritage Centre was decked out nicely and after a nice walk and some lunch one day we went to the Sun Yet Sen Museum in Armenian Street.

Sun Yat Sen was the father of the Chinese Republic and amongst other places lived for a while in Penang. The object of that really was to raise funds for his next rebellion. He was involved in several unsuccessful ones as well so was a person of interest for the Chinese who after a little while objected to the British about his rabble rousing presence in Penang, whereupon they asked him to move on. In all, he was in Penang for less than one year.

Fascinating museum. Small but amongst it all, you get to learn a bit about Sun Yet Sen the man too, in particular his lady loves which were described in some detail rather surprisingly. Most know him as the revolutionary not the lover, husband and all the rest. However, he was very active and traveled everywhere trying to raise interest and of course funding. One exhibit was set aside just to this; how much he raised and in which country. Remember this is back at the turn of the 20th century so the amounts are of course smaller but the country which provided the most funds for his struggle was..... wait for it.... Canada! Who'd have thought?  

Very nice museum housed in a lovely shophouse in Armenian Street. Well worth a visit!

Viv's tennis friend, Lee Pin, asked us out for a day trip over to the mainland in Butterworth to visit a Chinese temple that was both huge and beautifully decked out for Chinese New Year. We'd never really been to Butterworth other than on that occasion when we'd taken a wrong turning and were headed towards the docks so were keen to check it out. Basically it's just one Main Street with a temple at the end. Big temple though.

Lee Pin had organised a dinner at a restaurant on the beach at Batu Ferringhi with a special dish she wanted us to try (Duck and Yam soup) after the temple but before that she wanted us to try the 'best ' local Rojak. Now when a Penangite says that such and such is the 'best' it of course means in their opinion which again is of course reason enough to try it out. Viv and I had eaten rojak before but not Anna and Dick so this would be all new to them.

The famous rojak kopi (coffee) shop

Rojak

The place was a coffee shop in the middle of Butterworth. Coffee shops like this are where the locals go for dessert and of course the local incredibly black coffee. Beans are roasted in a special way so that the beans are coal black as is the coffee. Not terribly strong but with a definite flavour to which is added condensed milk -- that's for the black coffee which apparently without the condensed milk is rather like engine sump oil. For the white coffee, you add evaporated milk to the mix. Did I mention sugar? Lots of that too. The experience leaves quite a film in and around your mouth for quite some time.

How to describe rojak? It is a popular dessert hereabouts. Take cut up chunks of fruit and raw vegetables and cover it with a sweet and sour but something else thick, sticky, gooey gloop and sprinkle with ground nuts. It is a curious taste to be sure, and not unpleasant. 'Interesting' was a word I heard quite a bit from Dick and Anna.

On the way back we stopped off at the snake temple near the airport for a brief visit. Snakes were everywhere although thankfully not crawling around too much. Just sort of lying there and writhing. I think they all came around one day and nobody cleared them out, so the snakes stayed.

I'd driven through Batu Ferringhi often enough. It's where the tourist resorts are located but as the beaches are pretty awful and the water very muddy brown with pollution and run off from farming on the mainland, we never had any intention of going to the beach. Not after Bermuda anyway! However the restaurant we went to was right on the beach and it turned out to be actually.... really rather lovely: the beach not the water. As was the duck/yam soup and the meal overall. Thanks Lee Pin!

Sunset on the beach at Batu Ferringhi

We also decided to take Dick to the Blue Mansion in Georgetown. He is keen on history and heritage, or at least he said he was so we made sure to load him up on it.

The Blue Mansion

The Blue Mansion is simply extraordinary. The original house was built and lived in by a Chinese guy called Cheong Fatt Tze. A true rags to riches story, he started out as a coolie labourer in Indonesia in the 1870's where he made his first great move: he married the boss' daughter and took over his trading business. 

He was really good at it and moved to Penang because the British were there and more trade was possible. He was into everything, built this mansion and became the wealthiest man in China towards the end of the 19th century. The Emperor even appointed him as special counsellor making him the 3rd most powerful person in China even though he didn't live there. We went on a tour of the mansion which has been massively renovated after it became derelict during WWII when the Japanese arrived. They persecuted important local Chinese people and Cheong's heirs (he was dead by this time) received no favours from them and had to rent out the mansion to several hundred squatters simply to survive. The result was dereliction and the mansion was abandoned for years until private money acquired it and turned it into this lovely museum.

It has been a movie set many times including movies based on the life of Sun Yat Sen but more recently of Anna and the King of Siam. Because the Thai government felt that the movie disrespected the royal family, they refused permission to film in Bangkok so the movie used the Blue Mansion and more generally Penang as the site location for the movie.

Another outing, although not so long but still pretty onerous was visiting the Kee Lok See temple at Penang Hill. It is the largest such temple in SE Asia. For Chinese New Year, they always garland the temple and grounds in flowers, lights and all the other ornate stuff that goes with Chinese New Year so at this time of the year it is definitely worth a visit. Lots of stairs but very worth it.

The seven storey pagoda is a key point in the temple

I think Dick was exhausted by the time he left!!

Visitors, Culture, Eating and ....

I've been lazy in the past few weeks when it comes to writing my blog. For sure we had some visitors... actually quite a lot of visitors, then we moved house, then there was the big tennis tournament that I played in when Viv was away, then I hurt my back .... and then came the coronavirus which has locked us down in out apartment for at least the next two weeks.

Yes, I just slipped that last thing in. My goodness, this is the biggest crisis facing the world probably since WWII and to think I was going to write about the hardships of going out to eat in Penang!

But I'd started and had some really neat photos so I will go ahead and complete the blog but obviously with the benefit of current thinking. Realistically sitting here in our apartment, I would obviously love to go out to restaurants and stuff but that can't happen for a while. I'm still amazed how quickly all this has taken to come to pass when it was only just last week...

Anyhow, here it is:

***

I think we've lived here long enough that the Penang coolaid that we've drunk is starting to take effect. Penang info front and centre always says that Penang is the foodie capital of (1) Malaysia, (2) the Far East, or (3) the world. I don't know about that but recently in some periodical or another (or maybe a Far East food programme on TV), it was announced that either Penang or Malaysia (can't remember which) has 162,000 small holding food sellers.... a better word was used but you can't really call fooderies here 'restaurants' because most aren't. For sure there are restaurants like you'd recognise in the west but they are realistically few and far between. You have boutique fancy restaurants too. Then you go to the non-fancy restaurants that are more like US diners and a couple of further rungs down you get to the hawkers and the guys that prepare food off trolleys (you can't call them trucks). Anyway there's 162,000 of these apparently either up and down the country or in Penang, probably up and down the country now that I think of it.

Hawker centre on Beach Street

It feels like we've visited them all this last week.

Also by some extraordinary combination of events, we have had some of the most stunningly good meals and dishes that we've eaten in the entire time we have been here. So you can't say no to eating them, can you? (That was pretty lame, wasn't it? Even so, 100% true).

We had guests in the shape of Viv's mum, Anna, and uncle Dick from San Francisco so were in tourist mode as well so visited some pretty interesting places too but I'll just keep to the food on this post.

After the obligatory chicken rice on collecting Dick from the airport, we went on a bit of a tour ending up at a local Malay Nonya Indian sort of 'fusion' restaurant which had recipes from all over the region. Called Jawi Restaurant, the chef told us that his people are Indian muslims that came to Penang 200 years ago bringing with them traditional dishes that they made with local ingredients, substituting as needed and intermarrying over the years which brought different ways and means to the cooking. Its in Armenian Street opposite the Sun Yet Sen Museum and was very nice.

Our friends Ted and Lisa had asked us all out to join them at a Teochow restaurant called Goh Swee Kee, a fish restaurant and yet another style of Chinese cooking from the Teochow region. Wonderful fish, amazing pork curry and those veggies!!

Viv's tennis buddy asked us (Viv, Dick, Anna and I) for a day trip that included Dim Sum in Butterworth and another fish restaurant on the beach at Batu Ferringhi where the specialty was Duck and Yam Soup. Talk about hearty!

I took Dick out for a walk around Georgetown that included breakfast and of course lunch. Along the way we found the famous Nasi Lemak stall on Beach Street and some amazing looking tandoori chicken in Little India on Chulia Street.

Banana Leaf, rice cooked with coconut milk (hence fatty or 'Lemak'), dried anchovies, hard boiled egg and a huge dollop of chilli out of those buckets makes Nasi Lemak (aka fatty rice), a spectacular breakfast dish.

We realised that we'd not taken our visitors to any Nyonya Restaurants in Penang. Nyonya are the local Chinese/Malay mix cuisine restaurants. I love the food and Ted and Lisa again found a wonderful place called Aunty Geik Lean's Old School in Georgetown. I'd walked past this place dozens of times and never realised I should have stepped in for the fish and indescribably good pork curry.

Then there was the 'quiet' dinner at the Penang Swim Club and the huuuuge Korean BBQ that we went to with our friend's daughter, Hannah...

I felt like a balloon at the end of all this.

Hills

Like many people, I try to make plans. In my case as I am retired, this often involves great ideas (in my opinion) that may or may not require preparation before the big event whatever it is takes place.

A few weeks ago after a tough day of playing in a tennis tournament, I was chatting with one of the players, the club pro, bemoaning the fact that I wasn't able to hit the tennis ball as hard as the young lads who'd thumped us all over the court all day. He put an arm round my shoulders in an amicable fashion, patted my stomach with the other and kept on saying what sounded like "20 pounds" over and over. Being rather a literal person I hadn't a clue what he meant but assumed that he meant that I should start pumping iron to build up some more muscle. He is as skinny as a rake so I thought this was a bit rich coming from him. In any event he kept droning on about '20 pounds, 20 pounds' and drumming my tummy so I said something along the lines of 'OK, you're right maybe I could do something about my puny arms...' but he said "No, no. Lose 20 pounds. Here".... with 'here' being you guessed it, my stomach. Bloody cheek. I've been trying to lose 20 pounds for the last 20+ years, mate!

In my defense, the food in Penang really doesn't help. So good but very heavy on the carbs: rice, noodles, beer. I know I could be a little more iron willed but that really hasn't worked out that well. Clearly.

The most recent fiesta and the scene of my most recent fall from grace

So plan B.

Penang Island is a really interesting place. Topographically speaking. This is what Wikipedia says:

As for the terrain, much of the centre of Penang Island consists of granitic hills covered by rainforest jungles. The central hills of Penang Island, including Penang Hill, serve as a giant green lung for the entire island and an important forested catchment area.[15]

Generally speaking, the island can be distinguished into five areas:

• The northeastern plains form a triangular promontory where George Town is centred. This densely populated city centre is the administrative, commercial and cultural centre of Penang.
• The southeast, where Bayan Lepas is located, was once an agricultural area consisting of rice fields and mangroves. Due to the massive industrialisation of the 1970s, this area has been developed into new townships and industrial areas.
• The north, including Batu Ferringhi, Tanjung Bungah and Tanjung Tokong, consists of narrow sandy beaches lined with resort hotels and residences that form the northwestern edge of George Town.
• The southwest (Balik Pulau) contains the only large pockets of scenic countryside with fishing villages, fruit orchards, and mangroves.

The giant green lung

We live in the north of the island which is well populated but in the middle and south, the hills go straight up making construction difficult. So much so that the authorities are reclaiming ever greater chunks out to the north and east which constitutes the Malacca Straits, which are actually quite shallow and very tidal.

The British in colonial days built stations in the hills where you can escape the relentless heat of the lowlands. They also built reservoirs and dams in the hills to provide a guaranteed water source for the island. Accessing each of these meant trails, roads and paths which today make great hiking trails. This was my plan B.

I found a group of hardy hikers who weren't so serious that a newbie like me would suffer and off we went. The first week's walk was to the Batu Ferringhi aqueduct. A light, gently upward stroll past the remnants of colonial engineering which still works just fine. My fellow walkers were a bunch of similarly shaped and aged people to me, so I felt right at home. 

It was all rather pleasant. People chatted, stopped every 20 minutes or so for a rest and drink, that sort of thing. And right at the end we met that charming monkey. The white eyed ones are quite affable unlike the grey macaques that predominate, which travel in large groups and which are aggressive. This is why most walkers go on hikes with sticks.

It was therefore with quiet confidence that I approached the next week's walk. One of the guys that also plays tennis told me that this wasn't a really heavy walk in terms of difficulty, maybe 7 out of ten, so I was felt pretty good about things as I drove down to the southern part of the island; a village called Balik Pulau. The plan was to start in the village, walk through some of the farms and then take to the hills. The hills are all interconnected so a really long, tough one would head all the way north towards Penang Hill. We wouldn't be doing that although we would be going up through the durian farms.

I was in bits at the end.

Scenery was lovely and what I clearly missed were the breaks for chats and drinks. None of the more social walkers had chosen to do this walk this time, I had missed that! The hardy bunch that did make it were all lithe and athletic looking and obviously used to this kind of thing.

Lovely scenery though!

Some Early Mosques and some bloody pigeons

We'd felt for some time that we hadn't done enough 'culture' or 'heritage' here in Penang since we arrived, actually nearly 2 years ago now.... doesn't time fly? So we planned to do some more and earlier this week we went on one of Michelle's Spiral Synergy tours which would include the 3 oldest mosques in Georgetown. Well attended and very interesting indeed. The tour guide, Teresa, was fun which made for a good time all round.

The mosques are all within a few hundred yards of one another but if you wander round and round in circles enough and stop for some interesting tea and cakes at a Jawi cafe, the time passes most agreeably without too many gaps where you wonder what else? What was interesting about each mosque is the demographic that attends them as all date back to the early 1800's, just after the British arrived, and were built on land which even then was in the middle of what was then downtown Georgetown. The city/town back then was essentially 6 blocks back from the water (Beach Street or Jalan Pantai today) and no more than a dozen streets going left to right in a grid pattern. So that means there used to be 72 (or so) blocks where all commerce and in general all life took place for there were no other settlements on the island back then.

The British set aside what they thought as the best bits for them of course but also for the Indians they'd brought with them (mostly Tamils from south India who turned out to be muslims in the main), the Chinese who rushed in as soon as they saw what was happening (mainly Hokkien people from Fujian province) and also the local Malays who came over from the mainland too.... except that in the main they were not Malays, rather Indonesians trying to get away from the protestant Dutch who were forever fighting a rebellion in Aceh, a town in Indonesia only a very short boat ride away (less than 1/2 hour by plane these days). So, multiple demographics with obviously multiple requirements for their holy houses. Even today, the demographic separation remains broadly intact so Indian muslims rarely go to an Indonesian mosque (and of course vice versa) and neither attend other than rarely the newer Malay mosques.

I'd always wondered about what the colour scheme of old Penang was for today so many buildings look dilapidated in the World Heritage part of Georgetown. Apparently there were 3 colours, sky blue (with the colour coming from a local tree's berries that grow everywhere), yellow like in the photo (derived from cow's urine mixed with the white wash that is also prevalent. Local cows eat local mangoes and the result is very yellow apparently) and green which is a combination of the other two. Must have been very colourful. Makes me happy coming from Bermuda where houses are all lovely different pastel colours to think that something similar was happening here too. All old photos are black and white so of course impossible to know how colourful or not things really were. I like the colourful thought.

The big mosque on what used to be called Pitt Street was where we had the big talk from a local learned man. A very lively and jovial Indian who said his name was Dong and that if we wanted to remember him, we could always think of a bell and go Ding.... I believe he could make a living selling ice to the eskimos.

Someone had told me the mosque had been named after a pre-Colonial era ships captain of great renown but Dong told us that 'Kapitan' simply means leader and 'Keling' means Indian people. Another myth squashed!

Dong (or was it Ding?) took us on a whirlwind trip around the big mosque describing the pre-service washing requirements, why you kneeled on lines of carpet (hurts the knees otherwise apparently!), how you prayed, when you prayed, what the calling on words actually meant (pretty much 'time for prayer, get out of bed' for the morning session, similar thereafter), the fact that the Imams were not religious people just normal people who had something to say... and a whole lot of other stuff. He gave out free pamphlets on topics like 'Science in Islam', 'The Truth about Jesus', 'The position of Women in Islam' and other topics too. So easy for me to be cynical and describe it all as being a sell of the religion, but I'd like to think it was someone reaching out trying to dispel some myths. The fact that he used to be a Christian and converted (apparently he and Teresa were long time friends so both laughed about it) came up and I immediately thought about Saul becoming St. Paul and how he basically created the Christian faith out of a mish mash of ideas, facts and fiction. Not so different really.

A question on terrorism and radical Islam came up (it may have even been Ding (or Dong) who raised it unasked, come to think of it). Also the different sects; sunni, shi-ite, wahabbi (sp?). He brushed across the top of it. 'If someone kills or harms another person, he is not a muslim. He is a killer.' As for the sects... 'there are no sects in the muslim faith. All those others aren't Islam.'

Lots to digest then as we continued our stroll across the street in fact to the next mosque, which was actually not a real mosque but a shrine, called the Nagore Shrine. It was in crossing the road that I was attacked.

I'd like to know who ever came up with the notion that being pooped upon by pigeons is good luck .... OK I know, my mum did. But who else? Total crackpots (Mum excluded of course), that's who. It is nasty, smelly and really downright unpleasant. Of course Google has a myriad of links to totally gormless websites that devote column inches to this topic. Here's one:

I’m sure we can all agree that we’ve had our fair share of annoyance with bird defecation – it leaves a nasty stain on our cars and clothing, and any time birds are around, we’re instantly aware of their presence and hope that they don’t decide to use our clothes (or skin) as a toilet. It’s simply become a random, everyday occurrence and constant annoyance. How could anyone ever like it?

If you agreed with any of the statements I’ve said above, then it’ll come as just as much of a surprise to you when I say bird poop is actually a symbol of good luck. Believe it or not, there’s an entire mythical world behind the existence of and the importance of when a bird sh*ts on your car. If you’re a bit skeptical, keep reading.

For centuries, birds have always been, to a degree, mythical creatures; the Phoenix is an example of this in many cultures. Imagine, an animal able to simply spread their wings and glide across the sky with no issue keeping in sync formation with the birds around them.

Unfortunately, the price of being an airborne member of the animal kingdom is never knowing or having the appropriate means of defecation. Where would their waste go if they have no time to reach the ground to release it? Good enough for birds though, they’ve figured out the answer to that question long before humanity could even form adequate societies: give the humans good karma if they ever had a direct encounter with their droppings.

The main reason why we get mad at seeing bird poop “fly-by’s” is because of its unexpectedness and the annoyance brought on by the thought of cleaning it up. That doesn’t stop the Karma Gods from working, which in turn will bring you good luck and good fortune. With that being said, the next time you see bird poop in someone’s (or your own) hair, clothing, or windshield, don’t get mad – take a sigh of relief!

Numbskulls! I really don't need any self help dummy to tell me in 5 repetitive paragraphs of inanity that being pooped on is nasty. Really. As for the Phoenix... who cares about the bloody phoenix? It's a mythical bird. Not real. Getting pooped on by a bloody pigeon though, that is real life mate.

So it was with a less generous demeanour that I crossed the street into the shrine. It is both old and a bit ragged to tell the truth. But it is what it appears to be. A living, working place of worship not a gilded palace. I instantly felt the people here would understand my pigeon issues.

RTW sort of by Accident

Last week we returned from quite a long trip as it turned out. We hadn't meant it to be like this, witness the number of times we had cause to change airline reservations, but it sort of just happened.  The plan, if you can call it that, was to be in Zurich when our first grandchild would be born.... yes, I just slipped that in. Quietly. And yes, both Viv and I are very excited indeed! Around the same time however were a different couple of dates that we would not be able to change but which had to be included: namely a board meeting for me in New York as well as a 90th birthday party for Aunty Blanche in Bermuda.

Due date for the big day was 1st October for the longest time then all of a sudden it was pushed back, then not again. Not something that could be set in stone, that's for sure. Our grandchild would come when he/she was ready and not before. This didn't help much in our planning for, as everyone knows, those paragons of customer care, let's just call them 'airlines', do not take kindly to last minute booking and changes despite what all those "I traveled the world on $100" smart Alecs say. The later it became, the more painful it was.... for us needless to say. And as I said earlier, we had to make changes seemingly every week all of which increased the pain threshold. Fair to say I am heartily sick of aeroplanes, airports, airlines, mindless bloody stupidity at the airports, endless security lines, aeroplane food (big time), not being able to sleep, immigration procedures that change seemingly change all the time yet when you comment 'this is new', the official gives you a blank stare so you try to remember not to comment on anything but smile in a sort of glassy and fixed way every time someone asks something arcane like 'what brings you to...' -- I mean, I just landed on a plane for goodness sake, what do you think I am here for? To visit.... derr!

Anyway rather than go through a blow by blow for each stage, I'll do it by photos:

1. England

The land of Brexit and Boris Johnson! It seems to have become the only topic of conversation. Will we exit on October 31st in Boris's words 'do or die' or was it he'd rather be 'dead in a ditch'? Doesn't matter, everyone was speaking in ridiculous hyperbole like this all the time. 'End of the world', 'total disaster', 'catastrophic'.... you name it, these are the words of the time. Made me glad that we wouldn't be spending a lot of time here, just a few days with Viv's mum Anna.

Reculver Castle on the Thames Estuary is an old Roman Fort, church, you name it what else. The twin spires seen here are only kept as markers for shipping otherwise they'd be allowed to fall down.

Just had to eat the best fish n' chips in the country! Still great.

That other institution, the Sunday roast. Random country pub and it was fantastic.

Visiting the Royal Naval Dockyard at Chatham. Really interesting yet sad to me for it is now a tourist attraction seeing as there is very little Royal Navy left to service.

The Turner Modern museum in Margate I thought would have paintings of said Turner, a local lad who painted mid 19th century industrial type paintings, particularly steam ships, but it had the annual competition going on with artists like this doing modern stuff. The interpretation I found a little less than helpful.

2. Switzerland

Indy and Cat live in Zurich so it was there that we flew next. We stayed in an AirBNB in the centre of Zurich and found that the public transport was cheap, really efficient and on time. Trams, buses, trains... all really clean and a pleasure to use. We also found it was Oktoberfest time! So we had some fun before the big day arrived.

Quite a raucous affair it was too!

Taking our new grandchild for a walk. Felt like a supermarket trolley but of course just like everything Swiss, it really does work!

3. New York

After only a few days I flew through London again (ugh... horrible airport) to New York for my board meeting. Happily Dee Dee came to join me for a couple of days so we were able to hang out and go crazy. I dragged him all around Greenwich Village into bars and blues clubs.... great time!

Found time for the big steak too!

4. Switzerland (again)

Viv had stayed on in Zurich whilst I traveled alone to the Big Apple and I was looking forward to going back to join her, Indy, Cat and our beautiful grandchild for a few more days.

5. England (again)

One thing we have never managed is the knack of traveling light. I am always totally impressed by people that travel only with a carry on even when they are traveling for weeks or months. I imagine their choice of wardrobe is therefore limited but even with umpteen bags I find myself wearing the same trousers and shirt all the time. However this time we'd smartened up a little and actually managed the side trip to Zurich with just the one big bag... each, and had left the other two big bags in England. Hence England for a couple of days.

We took in a visit to a winery nearby which courtesy of global warming is now a producer of very decent bubbles, Balfour Estate. The tour guide explained that the owner had sort of bought the grape producing fields 'by accident' a few years ago and set to wondering what to do with just another 150 acres of decent arable land. He is very wealthy.

6. Bermuda

Thankfully we flew out through Gatwick, not Heathrow but I do have to comment on car rental firms. First time was Avis, second time Hertz. I go by price not loyalty so the companies change all the time for us. We get to see a variety of operators as a result. For some reason, this week no company had any cars to rent! This is Heathrow, one of the world's busiest airports. I'd booked ages in advance so was OK but people who rolled up on the off chance were totally out of luck. At Hertz, it was a pick a number and wait your turn thing! Unbelievable. 

It wasn't until our last day at Gatwick that we managed a full English breakfast! Very nice.

Great time of year to visit Bermuda by the way. Sunny and warm, yet no humidity. We stayed with Charmaine and David again and it was just lovely to catch up with friends. Dee Dee was working there too so we were able to  hang out with him as well.

Aunty Blanche's 90th birthday party was lovely. She got to sit next to her favourite person, Dee Dee, so was very happy. Very pleased to be there with her. Happy Birthday Aunt Blanche!

It was also lobster season so we just had to...

A week or so before we arrived, this hurricane came to visit. It was a bad one causing plenty of damage. Very unusual for Bermuda. No loss of life thankfully.

7. Toronto

We've a condo in downtown Toronto which is a lovely place to stay, however we have also found that the best long distance routing from Penang is first via Hong Kong and then onto wherever via Cathay Pacific. Direct to London and Zurich going west, and direct to New York and Toronto heading east. All are very long of course but the Toronto routing really works out best for us. Only for a few days this time.

8. Hong Kong/Penang

Transiting through HK still hasn't been impacted by the troubles going on there ... yet.