Nerds and Geeks

You don't just have to be a techie to be a nerd or geek, although many are. Just today for instance I was reading that the UK's version of the coronavirus track and trace app didn't work that well and they'd abandoned it in favour of the one jointly developed by Apple and Google. I don't know about anyone else but derrrrr. I did wonder at the outset why the UK government would bother trying to outdo the nerds and geeks from two of the biggest and in my view best tech companies going. It was always going to be an uphill battle but I'm glad at least they've now seen the light. What was it Churchill said about the Americans? He said you can always count on the Americans to do the right thing.... after they've tried everything else first. Sounds about right for the UK too.

Just this week we had some friends over for lunch (first time since the lockdown was eased) and somehow the conversation got around to accountants (spoiler alert I have an accounting qualification). Apparently they are all OCD (I think that's the correct acronym but in any event it means Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which is just about what our friend meant). Our friend therefore asked me if I am OCD. Tricky question actually. If I said no, any subsequent display of anything approaching compulsive behaviour would be highlighted no doubt. If I said yes, it would simply prove the point. Of course I said no... just before I wiped the kitchen counter 5 or 6 times. 

That isn't why I started this post though. I have been watching lots of You Tube videos in the past few lockdown weeks. What a choice! I started out searching for interesting things but quickly homed in on the daily broadcast from 10 Downing Street (I know, quite painful at times), some history podcasts about WWI in the main, but mostly live music from the bands and artists from the 60's and 70's that I like. It has become something of a compulsion for me now.... there I have acknowledged it... but what a wonderful journey.

I don't know how it has happened but as I type I am watching a 3 hour special celebrating the 25th anniversary of the death of Rory Gallagher. 

Not a well known name I know but Rory was a fantastic guitarist. I remember watching him many times in the 1970's and he was always great. He was one of those guys who had no idea or interest about the business, just about playing. He was very good indeed. This special has some people playing who I have never heard of and they are also really good. It made me think that you have to be really lucky to make it in that industry. Skill alone just does not cut it. But how on earth did I get here watching this?

It came about because I also found several channels on You Tube from people who assemble these wondrous clips and in some cases long segments of live concerts from the 1960's and 1970's ... the era that I listen to. I imagine there is the same for other interests and times. One guy I have now subscribed to has dozens of such long segments on his channel and only a couple of days ago I started looking at the dates when he/she put them together. Many were at random dates over the last 3-4 years but a growing number are coming every other day now. Clearly someone else has lots of time on their hands too! The fact that one of the segments I watched yesterday with Janis Joplin, Cream and Pink Floyd was premiered only 3 days before and had been watched by 20,000+ people already says lots I think. 

Not just me then.

Flanelled Fools

I miss cricket. I miss playing it. I miss watching it. I miss talking about it. I miss having ridiculous conversations about the game.

This is personal. I've played cricket since I was 6 or 7 when my mum would bowl to me in the back garden. Something clicked.

I love the smell of linseed oil (this is what you oil bats with). I miss the sound of leather on willow (bats are made predominantly of willow). I miss the buzz of insects on the lovely green cricket field. I miss the fantastic teas (every club would pride itself on the quality of the teas which was a huge highlight as well as a major factor in how you rated the opposition, definitely it was not skill), I miss the cricket fields themselves: when I was younger, virtually every village had a green in the middle of the village with a church, maybe two pubs, a memorial to the fallen and a cricket field upon which people would play football, hockey or rugby during winter. My cricket club's ground was in the middle of a park. The clubs would rent the fields but the cricket strips themselves would often be maintained by the parkies (sorry, the park keepers).

The strip at Cup Match in Bermuda

I miss the beer afterwards; the jugs if you made 50 runs or took 5 wickets. I miss the fines for transgressions during the match (more commonly these would be on tour). I miss the fact that after 12 hours on a weekend afternoon, the captain would come around and ask for your contribution to the match in the bar after the game was over (ridiculously cheap), most of which would go on beer shared with the other team. I miss the fact that most matches ended in draws (the best matches often ended in draws. Wins/losses were usually more one sided so less dramatic and certainly less enjoyable for one of the teams). I miss the bad umpire decisions (I could go on and on about this). I miss the scoring and the scoring books which required the skill of ... I don't know what the equivalent would be these days. Einstein couldn't have managed, that's all I'm saying. In short, I miss a lot of things.

The last match I played with Indy and Dee Dee: I miss this too.

In March usually, there would appear curious roped off areas in the middle of the larger open green spaces. Within this roped off area would soon appear the signs of a roller and more care from the mower for this was the strip; usually a number of long strips of grass side by side which during the summer will become the wicket upon which matches will be played. Care devoted now is essential for the slightest imperfection could result in the wicket becoming 'sticky'. All cricketers know what I mean for this is the language that all cricketers speak. These are the classic signs of approaching summer in England.

Cricket arrives in early April and leaves with regret in late September or early October, depending on the weather. It should be there now. No, it should be everywhere now in the northern hemisphere.

Our cricket season in Bermuda strictly followed the English season (for no very good reason as the weather outside of this time was perfectly good for cricket. Maybe the clocks going back cut off some time, but it certainly wasn't the weather). This meant that in July and August, if you were unlucky you could stand for hours on end under blindingly cloudless sky in monstrous heat and humidity. Personally, I stopped playing at the weekend in the longer format of the game some time in my 50's after getting out first ball of the match around 12.01 pm (LBW to a terrible decision which made it worse), standing as umpire from the end of the 2nd over for the remainder of the 50 overs (around 3 hours) and then taking my place in the field for another 3 hours whilst our opponents had their innings. I was a basket case by the end of the match. Nobody sympathised.

Moving to only after work evening games (I'd played evening matches since I was in my 20's as well as at weekends), I played until 2017 when we left Bermuda and there has not been a day that I haven't missed it. But, that is due to my choice not through regulations enforced by law (courtesy of coronavirus).

The upside of right now is that the BBC for example is re-running great old matches on both video and radio. The media is writing lengthy screeds eulogising matches, times and players from years gone by.

I read a terrific Guardian piece recently linking great players together throughout cricket's history via the Yorkshire great, Wilfred Rhodes. Mr Rhodes played in one of the greatest of Ashes test matches at the Oval in 1903 when England beat Australia by 1 wicket (this is known as Jessup's match) with the immortal words at the end from Mr. Rhodes being "we'll get 'em in singles".  He did.

Wilfred Rhodes

Every cricket enthusiast knows this catch phrase and will use it during their cricket careers, guaranteed. I have used it many times, not always successfully. In fact most often unsuccessfully but then again I wasn't Wilfred Rhodes. Mr. Rhodes played his last test match when he was 52 which was the basis of the story (first class cricketers playing past 50), the year before the incomparable Don Bradman played his first test match in England in 1930, and he had played his first test match in the same game as the great Victor Trumper played his first test match (he was Australian but I won't hold that against him) but more importantly this was the last test match of the even more legendary and incomparable W.G. Grace.

With WG at Lords

And then there are the insane rules... which of course everyone somehow intuitively knows. Or rather they used to. If you read the autobiography of Peter Ustinov (who? shows my age!), he made the wonderful comment that somehow if you went to school in England (he was Russian), you would absorb the rules of the game by osmosis even if you didn't play the game, and be able to talk intelligently about the LBW rule, how many different times a batsman can be out, the amazing varietals of the leg spin bowler in particular the googly, demonstrate with an orange how to swing a new ball, and a whole host of other wonderful arcane cricketing things.

Can other games do this?

How can summer be the same without this wonderful, wonderful game? Let's hope things loosen up before too long.

The F Word

Having time on my hands means that I can read much more and as my personal favourite topic were I to be asked onto Mastermind is 'Mindless Trivia', I of course followed an internet string that began with the words 'First Use of the F-word in Recorded Literature'.

Whilst the history is fascinating enough it is what it all portends that made me laugh like I hadn't for many years. And given our present situation in lockdown, what we all need is a darn good belly laugh.  Here's the headline:

"WAN FUKKIT FUNLING" —

500-year-old manuscript contains one of earliest known uses of the “F-word”

The Bannatyne Manuscript is an anthology of some 400 medieval Scottish poems.

Whilst the spelling is not contemporary, the feeling is perfectly encapsulated in those three words which mean.... well, er, this is where it gets tricky for these words came about during a bout of 'Flyting' between two gentlemen by the name of William Dunbar and Walter Kennedy.

Flyting is a poetic genre in Scotland—essentially a poetry slam or rap battle, in which participants exchange creative insults with as much verbal pyrotechnics (doubling and tripling of rhymes, lots of alliteration) as they can muster. (It's a safe bet Shakespeare excelled at this art form.)

Dunbar and Kennedy supposedly faced off for a flyting in the court of James IV of Scotland around 1500, and their exchange was set down for posterity in Bannatyne's manuscript. In the poem, Dunbar makes fun of Kennedy's Highland dialect, for instance, as well as his personal appearance, and he suggests his opponent enjoys sexual intercourse with horses. Kennedy retaliates with attacks on Dunbar's diminutive stature and lack of bowel control, suggesting his rival gets his inspiration from drinking "frogspawn" from the waters of a rural pond. You get the idea.

And then comes the historic moment: an insult containing the phrase "wan fukkit funling," marking the earliest known surviving record of the F-word.

It all sounds wonderful! I wish I had been there but as the manuscript itself was put together when this Mr. Bannatyne was locked down with the plague (rather like as now except that the plague killed somewhere between 30% and 80% of populations that became infected), perhaps not. In any event this brings to mind immediately Monty Python's Oscar Wilde sketch which although really funny also was based (although very loosely) on real events that regularly took place.

Now this is flyting!

Time On Your Hands... Lots of It!

I've been humming and hawing about writing about coronavirus but for the life of me cannot think of much to write about that isn't flippant (the entire thing is not funny), sad (why would I want to write about something sad? This is meant to be entertaining... well at least for me anyway), intelligent (I failed Biology O Level 3 times) or on point (see above comment in addition to which I have been trying to follow the politicos online and all seem to waffle a bit and then pass the microphone over to an expert who scares the hell out of me with explanations I don't understand that well). I think I am not alone in this.

So, rather than write about it, I will write about another one of those marvellous things that have no point at all but which I find massively interesting. This time it is about why are there 360 degrees in a circle. I can do maths, so find stuff like this inordinately fascinating.

In school we learn there are 360 degrees in a circle, but where did the 360 come from? When it is pointed out that the Babylonians counted to base-60, rather than base-10 as we do, people often ask if there is a connection. The short answer is no. The longer answer involves Babylonian astronomy.

So it was mostly the Babylonians ... But then also the Greeks.

It also involves calendars and most importantly a phenomenal amount of data gathering. Interesting parallel with you know what today as the experts from today go on all the time about the need for lots more hard data before they can know how to deal with things.

The Babylonians began observing the stars and various constellations around 2000 BC (according to the earliest texts), in the southern city of Uruk referring to a festival for the goddess Inanna so it was probably earlier than that. It all started with Venus being the brightest 'star' (no telescopes so look at the nearest/brightest object in the sky) and pretty soon they figured out that Venus along with the moon and other planets they could see lie on the same great circle, called the ecliptic, which had as its reference point the Sun as seen from Earth during the course of a year.

In order to record all this accurately, they needed a calendar as well as a method of recording positions along the ecliptic.

So calendars. The clever Babylonians figured out that it was the different phases of the moon which formed a rhythm in the life of their (and in fact all ancient) cultures, so that's where they started. Day 1 would be the evening of the first crescent at sundown.

With good visibility, a lunar month lasts 29 or 30 days and by about 500 BC, the Babylonians had discovered a scheme for determining the start of each month.

This used a 19- year cycle: 19 years is almost exactly 235 lunar months and the scheme works on seven long years (of 13 months) and 12 short years (of 12 months). This led to a fixed method of interleaving long and short years, still used today in the Jewish calendar and everything in the Christian year based on the date of Easter.

This phenomenally almost impossible to believe calculation (certainly when you think that our calendar these days is fixed and probably like me, most people wonder why the days of Easter, or Chinese New Year or some other dates change every year, well now you know) were derived by these amazingly clever Babylonians who started to record their observations.

The records that helped them discover this cycle began in the mid-eighth century bc, when Babylonian astronomers wrote nightly observations in what we now call ‘astronomical diaries’. These continue until the end of cuneiform scholarship in the first century ad, yielding eight hundred years of astronomical records: a terrific achievement, far longer than anything in Europe to this day. It facilitated great advances, notably their discovery of the so-called Saros cycles for predicting eclipses. Each one is a cycle of 223 lunar months, perpetuated over a period of more than 1,000 years. There are Saros cycles operating today first seen in the eighth and ninth centuries. They remain the basis for eclipse prediction and appear in detail on the NASA website.

800 years in those days was maybe 30+ generations given an average life span, enough for even the pickiest expert who wants data to prove a theory. Also a phenomenal achievement of relentlessly recording what to many must have seemed to be arcane nonsense but which today has a basis in almost everything that we do.

Once they had the calendar and could see that an annual cycle of life encompassed broadly 12 months, they were on the way but had to move onto problem two: method of recording positions along the ecliptic.

As it happened, the Babylonians seemed to like the organisation of 12 so split the months into smaller units of measurement. Obviously one day is one day but what about the time during the day? Again obviously you have before midday and after midday, so they decided to split both these periods into further units of 12. They also liked 30 as 30 was the usual number of days in a month so they further split up these units of 12 by a further 30 so as to be able to record data in their astronomical diaries more accurately, using fractions.

As for the sky, the firmament, the stars along the eliptical, well that was easy too now. They split the elliptical up into 12 sections:

the ecliptic was divided into 12 equal sections, each split into 30 finer divisions (also called uš), yielding 360 uš in total. For finer accuracy an uš was broken down into 60 divisions. Each of the 12 sections they labelled by a constellation of stars and, when the Greeks took on Babylonian results, they preserved these constellations, but gave them Greek names – Gemini, Cancer and Leo – most of which had the same meanings as in Babylonia.

My sign Pisces

Sadly for them at least, by this time the Babylonians passed into memory and were overtaken by the Greeks who thankfully had similar interests and courtesy of no TV or internet, plenty of time on their hands too. So they developed Geometry single handedly bringing order to many things at the same time as creating a method by which children of the future could legally be tortured (actually I liked geometry and particularly the acronyms by which we remembered various geometrical terms and calculations).

The quadrants of a circle. How we remembered which quadrant at school was ASTC which stands for All, Sine, Tangent, Cosine or in schoolboy parlance All Sausages Turn Cold. Moving one step further into the calculations of the various functions: Sine is opposite/hypotenuse, Cosine is adjacent/hypotenuse, Tangent is opposite/adjacent. This was wonderfully learned as Some Old Hags Can Always Have Their Oats Anytime. I did enjoy Geometry.

As Greek geometry developed, it created the concept of an angle as a magnitude – for example, adding the angles of a triangle yields the same as two right- angles – but in Euclid’s Elements (c.300 BC) there is no unit of measurement apart from the right-angle. Then, in the second century BC, the Greek astronomer Hipparchos of Rhodes began applying geometry to Babylonian astronomy. He needed a method of measuring angles and naturally followed the Babylonian division of the ecliptic into 360 degrees, dividing the circle the same way. So, although angles come from the Greeks, the 360 degrees comes from Babylonian astronomy.

So there you have it. Why 360? Fascinating. Here's the full article.

Darwin

I am torn between wanting to be a scientist and being glad that at age 11 when I was offered the choice of O Level studies in Physics, Chemistry and Biology or Latin that I chose Latin. I know its a big divide but at least when I was young I didn't clutter up my brain with bits of this and that that I'd never use (that's science) but at the same time maintain a healthy admiration for those that can and do use whatever they learned to do what seems to be miraculous things.

As I write this on Day 4 of coronavirus lockdown in Penang, I am amazed that it was only last week that it was announced that a Cambridge scientist had 'finally' proved one of Charles Darwin's theories a mere 140 years after he'd hypothesised them. 

I've now read two articles on what this theory is that has now been proven (it's to do with species and sub-species) and I'm afraid I barely understand what it is that has been proven and why it is actually important. Besides, I thought that Darwin became famous 140 years ago and that everyone believed him then, so was a little puzzled why all these years later it has become a big thing, well biggish in scientific circles.

One thing jumped out at me though... 

She used a tool Darwin never did

Van Holstein, however, had what those scientists didn't: Data modeling software.

She wanted to show that the number of subspecies in a species is correlated to the number of species in a genus. If she could prove that, she'd have more evidence to suggest that subspecies are the "raw material" for a new species, she said.  

I love this stuff. Anyway, here's the full write up from Science Daily.

All I can do is echo Caesar's words: 'Alea Jacta Est'. It's only taken 140 years!

Visitors Volume 3 -- Charlie!!

The whirlwind continued with Indy, Cat and Charlie due to arrive for a couple of weeks. We'd talked a lot about the coronavirus and whether they should still come but as that point things hadn't deteriorated as much as later, the answer was yes!! Couldn't wait. Also they were flying in through Doha which to that moment had had no issues... another plus!!

It all seems such a long time ago now though for as I write this we are into Day 4 of the lockdown here in Penang due to that *&%$$#%#@ coronavirus. It is quite amazing how fast it has taken over the lives of I would think everyone on the planet.

I wonder what Charlie will think. Obviously he's too young to have a detailed memory of his trip here but he had a whole series of firsts whilst with us (as did Mum and Dad) including:

• first time in a swimming pool

I think he enjoyed the swim

• first time seeing orang utans ... he slept through most of it so maybe that memory won't be too strong
• his first laughing session with a cuddly warthog; that character from the Lion King movie courtesy of Uncle Dee Dee

At this age, they seem to grow up bit by bit before your eyes. If there's something he didn't do yesterday, well he's doing it today and he's an expert already. 

But he would not roll over. 

He would but obviously he wasn't that fussed as he put either an arm or leg in just the right spot to stop him rolling over. I'd push him but after the first time that he immediately vomited onto the carpet, I stopped doing that. Don't get it. If he just rolled over, he would be able to push himself up on his arms and start to at least think about crawling. When he was having his 'tummy time' he'd almost immediately roll over and lay on his back like a dead bug. He would be waggling his arms and legs though and often laughing and chuckling to himself.

As for mum and dad, well obviously lovely to see them too. Viv and I were able to take Charlie for the evening actually on three occasions so they could have a date night out. I say Viv and I but it was mostly Viv, I was almost useless and had forgotten almost everything about being a new dad but Viv just picked it up from where she'd left off with Dee Dee back in 1989 and rolled on.

Food as can be imagined played an enormous part. We'd been winding Indy up in particular and had many (far too many) gastronomic events. The one he'd been looking forward to the most was the seafood dinner with congee as the last course that I'd told him about. It was again terrific. Our friends Lisa and Ted came along with us too as it needed to be a big affair so we could order enough things. I shouldn't have worried!

Like I said before, it all seems such a long time ago. The virus here has formally put us into lockdown nationwide until 31st March but today's paper suggested that may have to be extended to 60 days as people here keep gathering together contrary to health warnings about the virus' spread. We don't plan to be going out anywhere other than for food and other necessary things. Writing this I wonder if the next time I see Charlie, he'll be walking or not.

Doesn't matter, I'll treasure the time they were all here with us. 

Charlie's and my evening ritual

Visitors Volume 2

With Dick and Anna leaving, Hannah arrived. Hannah is Viv's god daughter and is on a post university tour around the world. As Hannah's plan was to spend 3 weeks in Hainan Island in China around this time, tacking on a week before would be easy. It didn't turn out that way later on but nobody had heard of coronavirus at that time.

We decided that amongst all the hanging out, eating and drinking we'd also head off for some outings and as Hannah's degree was to do with marine biology and environmental protection, we thought take her out for some animal-y things, starting with the butterfly farm called Entopia.

This was the first time we'd been there and it was really good. Lots of butterflies of course but also the big monitor lizards and other things were there too. Sort of an aquatic zoo as opposed to an aquarium.

Clever, they had laid out these hibiscus flowers and covered them with I think honey so the butterflies swarmed all over them for the benefit of we patrons to enjoy

Another day we drove out to Bukit Merah to check out the orang utans again. We'd done this before with Hannah's mum and it was really nice to go back particularly when we ran into one of the celebrity occupants who was riveted by the actions of a workman and tracked what he was doing. We'd had virtually no rain for months by this point so the lake in which the orang utan refuge island stood was at a very low level exposing lots of the foreshore. As there had been a fire at the centre a short while before, there was plenty of debris lying around and it was this that the workmen were clearing up.

I watched for ages and of course this is ridiculous but after a while I had the notion that I knew what the orang utan was about to do. I used the 'well of course their DNA is a 97% match to humans' hypothesis for my incredible scientific breakthrough, but its true. I just knew that when the workman got close enough, the orang utan would just scrabble away at the sand and throw a handful at him. And he did! Really hilarious to watch!!

Mind you, I didn't share this mind meld that I had just experienced with anyone else. I kept that to myself.

We also went back to Kee Lok See temple at night to check out the lights which were truly spectacular. This time we climbed the 7 storeys of the pagoda and were rewarded with fantastic views. The lights were terrific.

All along Hannah had been in touch with the school in Hainan where she was supposed to be teaching English for 3 weeks when all of a sudden she told us there may be a problem with her getting there as there was a disease that was spreading all over, a new type of virus.

We'd heard that there was something going on in Wuhan in China but not much else. However as we all know now, things moved fast from this point and the virus spread out exponentially to the point where the school said sorry, no children to teach so no need to come. I think we were all a bit peeved that that had happened for Hannah's sake not realising the enormity of things for after this cases started cropping up in other countries too. We suggested that Hannah should therefore head south to Australia instead as she had another internship organised in Sydney after the proposed Hainan trip which in the end did happen.

Our farewell dinner -- Korean BBQ

In fact all ended well for Hannah organised a nice road trip along the east coast of Australia to her new internship. Bon voyage and thanks for coming!