Visitors Volume 2

With Dick and Anna leaving, Hannah arrived. Hannah is Viv's god daughter and is on a post university tour around the world. As Hannah's plan was to spend 3 weeks in Hainan Island in China around this time, tacking on a week before would be easy. It didn't turn out that way later on but nobody had heard of coronavirus at that time.

We decided that amongst all the hanging out, eating and drinking we'd also head off for some outings and as Hannah's degree was to do with marine biology and environmental protection, we thought take her out for some animal-y things, starting with the butterfly farm called Entopia.

This was the first time we'd been there and it was really good. Lots of butterflies of course but also the big monitor lizards and other things were there too. Sort of an aquatic zoo as opposed to an aquarium.

Clever, they had laid out these hibiscus flowers and covered them with I think honey so the butterflies swarmed all over them for the benefit of we patrons to enjoy

Another day we drove out to Bukit Merah to check out the orang utans again. We'd done this before with Hannah's mum and it was really nice to go back particularly when we ran into one of the celebrity occupants who was riveted by the actions of a workman and tracked what he was doing. We'd had virtually no rain for months by this point so the lake in which the orang utan refuge island stood was at a very low level exposing lots of the foreshore. As there had been a fire at the centre a short while before, there was plenty of debris lying around and it was this that the workmen were clearing up.

I watched for ages and of course this is ridiculous but after a while I had the notion that I knew what the orang utan was about to do. I used the 'well of course their DNA is a 97% match to humans' hypothesis for my incredible scientific breakthrough, but its true. I just knew that when the workman got close enough, the orang utan would just scrabble away at the sand and throw a handful at him. And he did! Really hilarious to watch!!

Mind you, I didn't share this mind meld that I had just experienced with anyone else. I kept that to myself.

We also went back to Kee Lok See temple at night to check out the lights which were truly spectacular. This time we climbed the 7 storeys of the pagoda and were rewarded with fantastic views. The lights were terrific.

All along Hannah had been in touch with the school in Hainan where she was supposed to be teaching English for 3 weeks when all of a sudden she told us there may be a problem with her getting there as there was a disease that was spreading all over, a new type of virus.

We'd heard that there was something going on in Wuhan in China but not much else. However as we all know now, things moved fast from this point and the virus spread out exponentially to the point where the school said sorry, no children to teach so no need to come. I think we were all a bit peeved that that had happened for Hannah's sake not realising the enormity of things for after this cases started cropping up in other countries too. We suggested that Hannah should therefore head south to Australia instead as she had another internship organised in Sydney after the proposed Hainan trip which in the end did happen.

Our farewell dinner -- Korean BBQ

In fact all ended well for Hannah organised a nice road trip along the east coast of Australia to her new internship. Bon voyage and thanks for coming!

Visitors Volume 1

In early January, we'd just returned from spending Christmas in Canada with Dee Dee and the following day Viv's mum Anna moved in, swiftly followed by Viv's uncle Dick a day later. This is Dick's first visit and he hadn't seen Anna for several years. 

It was just before Chinese New Year started (which began in the last week of January and lasted 2 weeks this year). It is the Year of the Rat so everywhere was highly decorated with what looked to me less like rats but more like cuddly-ish mice so everywhere was very pretty and as it is the new year, pretty much everything was cleaned up too.

We did a lot of stuff! 

Georgetown's UNESCO World Heritage Centre was decked out nicely and after a nice walk and some lunch one day we went to the Sun Yet Sen Museum in Armenian Street.

Sun Yat Sen was the father of the Chinese Republic and amongst other places lived for a while in Penang. The object of that really was to raise funds for his next rebellion. He was involved in several unsuccessful ones as well so was a person of interest for the Chinese who after a little while objected to the British about his rabble rousing presence in Penang, whereupon they asked him to move on. In all, he was in Penang for less than one year.

Fascinating museum. Small but amongst it all, you get to learn a bit about Sun Yet Sen the man too, in particular his lady loves which were described in some detail rather surprisingly. Most know him as the revolutionary not the lover, husband and all the rest. However, he was very active and traveled everywhere trying to raise interest and of course funding. One exhibit was set aside just to this; how much he raised and in which country. Remember this is back at the turn of the 20th century so the amounts are of course smaller but the country which provided the most funds for his struggle was..... wait for it.... Canada! Who'd have thought?  

Very nice museum housed in a lovely shophouse in Armenian Street. Well worth a visit!

Viv's tennis friend, Lee Pin, asked us out for a day trip over to the mainland in Butterworth to visit a Chinese temple that was both huge and beautifully decked out for Chinese New Year. We'd never really been to Butterworth other than on that occasion when we'd taken a wrong turning and were headed towards the docks so were keen to check it out. Basically it's just one Main Street with a temple at the end. Big temple though.

Lee Pin had organised a dinner at a restaurant on the beach at Batu Ferringhi with a special dish she wanted us to try (Duck and Yam soup) after the temple but before that she wanted us to try the 'best ' local Rojak. Now when a Penangite says that such and such is the 'best' it of course means in their opinion which again is of course reason enough to try it out. Viv and I had eaten rojak before but not Anna and Dick so this would be all new to them.

The famous rojak kopi (coffee) shop

Rojak

The place was a coffee shop in the middle of Butterworth. Coffee shops like this are where the locals go for dessert and of course the local incredibly black coffee. Beans are roasted in a special way so that the beans are coal black as is the coffee. Not terribly strong but with a definite flavour to which is added condensed milk -- that's for the black coffee which apparently without the condensed milk is rather like engine sump oil. For the white coffee, you add evaporated milk to the mix. Did I mention sugar? Lots of that too. The experience leaves quite a film in and around your mouth for quite some time.

How to describe rojak? It is a popular dessert hereabouts. Take cut up chunks of fruit and raw vegetables and cover it with a sweet and sour but something else thick, sticky, gooey gloop and sprinkle with ground nuts. It is a curious taste to be sure, and not unpleasant. 'Interesting' was a word I heard quite a bit from Dick and Anna.

On the way back we stopped off at the snake temple near the airport for a brief visit. Snakes were everywhere although thankfully not crawling around too much. Just sort of lying there and writhing. I think they all came around one day and nobody cleared them out, so the snakes stayed.

I'd driven through Batu Ferringhi often enough. It's where the tourist resorts are located but as the beaches are pretty awful and the water very muddy brown with pollution and run off from farming on the mainland, we never had any intention of going to the beach. Not after Bermuda anyway! However the restaurant we went to was right on the beach and it turned out to be actually.... really rather lovely: the beach not the water. As was the duck/yam soup and the meal overall. Thanks Lee Pin!

Sunset on the beach at Batu Ferringhi

We also decided to take Dick to the Blue Mansion in Georgetown. He is keen on history and heritage, or at least he said he was so we made sure to load him up on it.

The Blue Mansion

The Blue Mansion is simply extraordinary. The original house was built and lived in by a Chinese guy called Cheong Fatt Tze. A true rags to riches story, he started out as a coolie labourer in Indonesia in the 1870's where he made his first great move: he married the boss' daughter and took over his trading business. 

He was really good at it and moved to Penang because the British were there and more trade was possible. He was into everything, built this mansion and became the wealthiest man in China towards the end of the 19th century. The Emperor even appointed him as special counsellor making him the 3rd most powerful person in China even though he didn't live there. We went on a tour of the mansion which has been massively renovated after it became derelict during WWII when the Japanese arrived. They persecuted important local Chinese people and Cheong's heirs (he was dead by this time) received no favours from them and had to rent out the mansion to several hundred squatters simply to survive. The result was dereliction and the mansion was abandoned for years until private money acquired it and turned it into this lovely museum.

It has been a movie set many times including movies based on the life of Sun Yat Sen but more recently of Anna and the King of Siam. Because the Thai government felt that the movie disrespected the royal family, they refused permission to film in Bangkok so the movie used the Blue Mansion and more generally Penang as the site location for the movie.

Another outing, although not so long but still pretty onerous was visiting the Kee Lok See temple at Penang Hill. It is the largest such temple in SE Asia. For Chinese New Year, they always garland the temple and grounds in flowers, lights and all the other ornate stuff that goes with Chinese New Year so at this time of the year it is definitely worth a visit. Lots of stairs but very worth it.

The seven storey pagoda is a key point in the temple

I think Dick was exhausted by the time he left!!

Visitors, Culture, Eating and ....

I've been lazy in the past few weeks when it comes to writing my blog. For sure we had some visitors... actually quite a lot of visitors, then we moved house, then there was the big tennis tournament that I played in when Viv was away, then I hurt my back .... and then came the coronavirus which has locked us down in out apartment for at least the next two weeks.

Yes, I just slipped that last thing in. My goodness, this is the biggest crisis facing the world probably since WWII and to think I was going to write about the hardships of going out to eat in Penang!

But I'd started and had some really neat photos so I will go ahead and complete the blog but obviously with the benefit of current thinking. Realistically sitting here in our apartment, I would obviously love to go out to restaurants and stuff but that can't happen for a while. I'm still amazed how quickly all this has taken to come to pass when it was only just last week...

Anyhow, here it is:

***

I think we've lived here long enough that the Penang coolaid that we've drunk is starting to take effect. Penang info front and centre always says that Penang is the foodie capital of (1) Malaysia, (2) the Far East, or (3) the world. I don't know about that but recently in some periodical or another (or maybe a Far East food programme on TV), it was announced that either Penang or Malaysia (can't remember which) has 162,000 small holding food sellers.... a better word was used but you can't really call fooderies here 'restaurants' because most aren't. For sure there are restaurants like you'd recognise in the west but they are realistically few and far between. You have boutique fancy restaurants too. Then you go to the non-fancy restaurants that are more like US diners and a couple of further rungs down you get to the hawkers and the guys that prepare food off trolleys (you can't call them trucks). Anyway there's 162,000 of these apparently either up and down the country or in Penang, probably up and down the country now that I think of it.

Hawker centre on Beach Street

It feels like we've visited them all this last week.

Also by some extraordinary combination of events, we have had some of the most stunningly good meals and dishes that we've eaten in the entire time we have been here. So you can't say no to eating them, can you? (That was pretty lame, wasn't it? Even so, 100% true).

We had guests in the shape of Viv's mum, Anna, and uncle Dick from San Francisco so were in tourist mode as well so visited some pretty interesting places too but I'll just keep to the food on this post.

After the obligatory chicken rice on collecting Dick from the airport, we went on a bit of a tour ending up at a local Malay Nonya Indian sort of 'fusion' restaurant which had recipes from all over the region. Called Jawi Restaurant, the chef told us that his people are Indian muslims that came to Penang 200 years ago bringing with them traditional dishes that they made with local ingredients, substituting as needed and intermarrying over the years which brought different ways and means to the cooking. Its in Armenian Street opposite the Sun Yet Sen Museum and was very nice.

Our friends Ted and Lisa had asked us all out to join them at a Teochow restaurant called Goh Swee Kee, a fish restaurant and yet another style of Chinese cooking from the Teochow region. Wonderful fish, amazing pork curry and those veggies!!

Viv's tennis buddy asked us (Viv, Dick, Anna and I) for a day trip that included Dim Sum in Butterworth and another fish restaurant on the beach at Batu Ferringhi where the specialty was Duck and Yam Soup. Talk about hearty!

I took Dick out for a walk around Georgetown that included breakfast and of course lunch. Along the way we found the famous Nasi Lemak stall on Beach Street and some amazing looking tandoori chicken in Little India on Chulia Street.

Banana Leaf, rice cooked with coconut milk (hence fatty or 'Lemak'), dried anchovies, hard boiled egg and a huge dollop of chilli out of those buckets makes Nasi Lemak (aka fatty rice), a spectacular breakfast dish.

We realised that we'd not taken our visitors to any Nyonya Restaurants in Penang. Nyonya are the local Chinese/Malay mix cuisine restaurants. I love the food and Ted and Lisa again found a wonderful place called Aunty Geik Lean's Old School in Georgetown. I'd walked past this place dozens of times and never realised I should have stepped in for the fish and indescribably good pork curry.

Then there was the 'quiet' dinner at the Penang Swim Club and the huuuuge Korean BBQ that we went to with our friend's daughter, Hannah...

I felt like a balloon at the end of all this.

Hills

Like many people, I try to make plans. In my case as I am retired, this often involves great ideas (in my opinion) that may or may not require preparation before the big event whatever it is takes place.

A few weeks ago after a tough day of playing in a tennis tournament, I was chatting with one of the players, the club pro, bemoaning the fact that I wasn't able to hit the tennis ball as hard as the young lads who'd thumped us all over the court all day. He put an arm round my shoulders in an amicable fashion, patted my stomach with the other and kept on saying what sounded like "20 pounds" over and over. Being rather a literal person I hadn't a clue what he meant but assumed that he meant that I should start pumping iron to build up some more muscle. He is as skinny as a rake so I thought this was a bit rich coming from him. In any event he kept droning on about '20 pounds, 20 pounds' and drumming my tummy so I said something along the lines of 'OK, you're right maybe I could do something about my puny arms...' but he said "No, no. Lose 20 pounds. Here".... with 'here' being you guessed it, my stomach. Bloody cheek. I've been trying to lose 20 pounds for the last 20+ years, mate!

In my defense, the food in Penang really doesn't help. So good but very heavy on the carbs: rice, noodles, beer. I know I could be a little more iron willed but that really hasn't worked out that well. Clearly.

The most recent fiesta and the scene of my most recent fall from grace

So plan B.

Penang Island is a really interesting place. Topographically speaking. This is what Wikipedia says:

As for the terrain, much of the centre of Penang Island consists of granitic hills covered by rainforest jungles. The central hills of Penang Island, including Penang Hill, serve as a giant green lung for the entire island and an important forested catchment area.[15]

Generally speaking, the island can be distinguished into five areas:

• The northeastern plains form a triangular promontory where George Town is centred. This densely populated city centre is the administrative, commercial and cultural centre of Penang.
• The southeast, where Bayan Lepas is located, was once an agricultural area consisting of rice fields and mangroves. Due to the massive industrialisation of the 1970s, this area has been developed into new townships and industrial areas.
• The north, including Batu Ferringhi, Tanjung Bungah and Tanjung Tokong, consists of narrow sandy beaches lined with resort hotels and residences that form the northwestern edge of George Town.
• The southwest (Balik Pulau) contains the only large pockets of scenic countryside with fishing villages, fruit orchards, and mangroves.

The giant green lung

We live in the north of the island which is well populated but in the middle and south, the hills go straight up making construction difficult. So much so that the authorities are reclaiming ever greater chunks out to the north and east which constitutes the Malacca Straits, which are actually quite shallow and very tidal.

The British in colonial days built stations in the hills where you can escape the relentless heat of the lowlands. They also built reservoirs and dams in the hills to provide a guaranteed water source for the island. Accessing each of these meant trails, roads and paths which today make great hiking trails. This was my plan B.

I found a group of hardy hikers who weren't so serious that a newbie like me would suffer and off we went. The first week's walk was to the Batu Ferringhi aqueduct. A light, gently upward stroll past the remnants of colonial engineering which still works just fine. My fellow walkers were a bunch of similarly shaped and aged people to me, so I felt right at home. 

It was all rather pleasant. People chatted, stopped every 20 minutes or so for a rest and drink, that sort of thing. And right at the end we met that charming monkey. The white eyed ones are quite affable unlike the grey macaques that predominate, which travel in large groups and which are aggressive. This is why most walkers go on hikes with sticks.

It was therefore with quiet confidence that I approached the next week's walk. One of the guys that also plays tennis told me that this wasn't a really heavy walk in terms of difficulty, maybe 7 out of ten, so I was felt pretty good about things as I drove down to the southern part of the island; a village called Balik Pulau. The plan was to start in the village, walk through some of the farms and then take to the hills. The hills are all interconnected so a really long, tough one would head all the way north towards Penang Hill. We wouldn't be doing that although we would be going up through the durian farms.

I was in bits at the end.

Scenery was lovely and what I clearly missed were the breaks for chats and drinks. None of the more social walkers had chosen to do this walk this time, I had missed that! The hardy bunch that did make it were all lithe and athletic looking and obviously used to this kind of thing.

Lovely scenery though!

Charlie

I hadn't realized so much time has passed since we first met Charlie. I've always liked the name but for some reason I've never known any Charlies. I know a Charles, just the one, but nobody could ever suggest that he'd want to use the more familiar form.

It wasn't going to be Charlie. I'd suggested Mark Joseph II as a strong contender but Indy seemed solid on Daniel. But definitely not Charlie.

He wasn't punctual either. Big yes, but on time no. Mind you he wasn't that late, I suppose. Just a couple of days. But I suppose that even with the advances that have been made these days, getting the precise time of delivery is still tricky.

Meet Charlie!!

Very excited of course. Our first grandchild and very lovable he is too. Happy Christmas!!

The Big Apple in 24 hours

A short while ago, I was in New York and my youngest Ali flew in to join me. It was meant to be a weekend but life intervened so it turned out to be only a little over 24 hours of father son togetherness and I meant to make the most of it.

Ali lives and works in Cayman but on occasion goes to Bermuda for work as well so it was fairly simple for him to jump on a plane for the 1 1/2 hour hop to JFK. I'd suggested he take the subway and I'd meet him and walk him around for the next 24 hours.

First thing was a late breakfast and I chose Sarge's Deli which I knew made the best all around corned beef hash in the world. Topped with 3 fried eggs and home fries, this is a real breakfast!

We ached as we came out but with the weather an unseasonal and balmy 23 degrees with bright sunshine, I proposed to walk Ali all over town. With New York set out in a classic grid pattern, all you needed to know are cross streets and you can find anywhere.

Ali needed some shopping, personal items, so we hit the stores. Midtown Mall is right next to Macy's so after blanking there, this was our target for Ali was on a budget. This all made me realise just how much US retail is suffering. There's so much of it, so many people looking to buy too, but with incomes not really rising and Amazon crowding out many retailers, those that remain have a tough time surviving.

We found a fairly ratty JC Penney as it happened with the men's department hosted by an attractive young lady who found a very special deal for Ali. I would have been absolutely mortified to be served in this fashion when I was younger and actually let an attractive young lady know what undies I wore, but then again being from the old school of Speedo's and tighty whiteys, perhaps that would be the case now too. Ali being from the new generation of board shorts and boxers held no such feeling.

As we had a subway card, we hopped on the subway for positively 4th Street (a nod to Bob Dylan who used to live there). This is Greenwich Village and home to our evening's entertainment. I wanted to show Ali the clubs and of course actually confirm that something would be on tonight. Cafe Wha was still there with the House Band due to start up around 5 pm, and around the corner Bleecker Street was also there and ..... had become almost gentrified. Possibly a Starbucks even.

When I first went to NYC back in the 1980's, it was dirty, edgy and a bit grungy. Some nice parts too of course but it had a definite Noo Yawk edge. That was one of the things that made it attractive. Perhaps it was the crack cocaine epidemic which hit the big apple in the mid-eighties? I never saw that in person but do remember walking up 5th Avenue at night near Grand Central Station with a work colleague and a couple of big black guys wearing reddish blazers came up behind us and said 'keep walking'. I hadn't a clue what was going on but my colleague said 'don't worry, they are the Angels'.... it may have been a different name but these were guys that roamed the street at nighttime to prevent people from being mugged.

There you go, the Guardian Angels.

It was Rudy Giuliani who was responsible for cleaning up NYC sometime later with his no nonsense policing tactics and I think he did a great job at that. New York is unquestionably a cleaner and safer city than it was but as we strolled along Bleecker Street, I did get the feeling that it had been tidied up a little too much. Gone were lots of the old grungy bars and eating places, gone were a number of places that showcased music like the Blues and Jazz. However Terra Blues still remains and we were able to confirm that there would be music later on.

We turned left up Broadway and because it was so lovely a day kept on walking. And walking. So much life to be seen in a city when you walk around it. New York is so fascinating too. You may think that being a huge city it has no distinctive bits and pieces but that is totally untrue. Korea Town, Japan Town, Chinatown, Little Italy, Hell's Kitchen... some great names too! Sarge's Diner was in a section called Murray Hill (2nd and 30-something). There were actually a few hills too, but not too drastic. Because big retail is suffering so much, mum and pop shops proliferate which I think is great as the independents reflect the community to a large extent and add great feel to the place. OK, I am a fan of the big apple. It's a real pleasure to visit.

Of course I wanted to eat at a venerable NY steakhouse but first choice Keens was full and Del Monico's could only manage a ridiculous time so we settled for Frankie & Johnnie's Steakhouse on W 37th street. It was great... of course. Steaks were huge and done beautifully. Martinis sang to us. Just a perfect preamble to the rest of the evening.

Cheers!

After this we soldiered back down to Greenwich Village for the Terra Blues experience and after some bar hopping, we finally arrived. I am pleased to say it was just how I remembered it. Small, low ceiling, little tables with chairs dotted around the club and some terrific blues. We stayed for 3 sets and made it back to our hotel about 3.30 am.

The following day was a Sunday so we wanted brunch which we found to be what almost every other New Yorker was doing as well. The myriad eateries that offered it were packed solid ... it was another lovely day so this is not surprising, however I remembered a Greek place on 1st Avenue and we wandered down there and were richly rewarded with piles of pancakes, French Toast and other goodies that you associate with brunch.

As we left JFK to our different destinations, we both agreed that we'd probably skip the next couple of meals.

Some Early Mosques and some bloody pigeons

We'd felt for some time that we hadn't done enough 'culture' or 'heritage' here in Penang since we arrived, actually nearly 2 years ago now.... doesn't time fly? So we planned to do some more and earlier this week we went on one of Michelle's Spiral Synergy tours which would include the 3 oldest mosques in Georgetown. Well attended and very interesting indeed. The tour guide, Teresa, was fun which made for a good time all round.

The mosques are all within a few hundred yards of one another but if you wander round and round in circles enough and stop for some interesting tea and cakes at a Jawi cafe, the time passes most agreeably without too many gaps where you wonder what else? What was interesting about each mosque is the demographic that attends them as all date back to the early 1800's, just after the British arrived, and were built on land which even then was in the middle of what was then downtown Georgetown. The city/town back then was essentially 6 blocks back from the water (Beach Street or Jalan Pantai today) and no more than a dozen streets going left to right in a grid pattern. So that means there used to be 72 (or so) blocks where all commerce and in general all life took place for there were no other settlements on the island back then.

The British set aside what they thought as the best bits for them of course but also for the Indians they'd brought with them (mostly Tamils from south India who turned out to be muslims in the main), the Chinese who rushed in as soon as they saw what was happening (mainly Hokkien people from Fujian province) and also the local Malays who came over from the mainland too.... except that in the main they were not Malays, rather Indonesians trying to get away from the protestant Dutch who were forever fighting a rebellion in Aceh, a town in Indonesia only a very short boat ride away (less than 1/2 hour by plane these days). So, multiple demographics with obviously multiple requirements for their holy houses. Even today, the demographic separation remains broadly intact so Indian muslims rarely go to an Indonesian mosque (and of course vice versa) and neither attend other than rarely the newer Malay mosques.

I'd always wondered about what the colour scheme of old Penang was for today so many buildings look dilapidated in the World Heritage part of Georgetown. Apparently there were 3 colours, sky blue (with the colour coming from a local tree's berries that grow everywhere), yellow like in the photo (derived from cow's urine mixed with the white wash that is also prevalent. Local cows eat local mangoes and the result is very yellow apparently) and green which is a combination of the other two. Must have been very colourful. Makes me happy coming from Bermuda where houses are all lovely different pastel colours to think that something similar was happening here too. All old photos are black and white so of course impossible to know how colourful or not things really were. I like the colourful thought.

The big mosque on what used to be called Pitt Street was where we had the big talk from a local learned man. A very lively and jovial Indian who said his name was Dong and that if we wanted to remember him, we could always think of a bell and go Ding.... I believe he could make a living selling ice to the eskimos.

Someone had told me the mosque had been named after a pre-Colonial era ships captain of great renown but Dong told us that 'Kapitan' simply means leader and 'Keling' means Indian people. Another myth squashed!

Dong (or was it Ding?) took us on a whirlwind trip around the big mosque describing the pre-service washing requirements, why you kneeled on lines of carpet (hurts the knees otherwise apparently!), how you prayed, when you prayed, what the calling on words actually meant (pretty much 'time for prayer, get out of bed' for the morning session, similar thereafter), the fact that the Imams were not religious people just normal people who had something to say... and a whole lot of other stuff. He gave out free pamphlets on topics like 'Science in Islam', 'The Truth about Jesus', 'The position of Women in Islam' and other topics too. So easy for me to be cynical and describe it all as being a sell of the religion, but I'd like to think it was someone reaching out trying to dispel some myths. The fact that he used to be a Christian and converted (apparently he and Teresa were long time friends so both laughed about it) came up and I immediately thought about Saul becoming St. Paul and how he basically created the Christian faith out of a mish mash of ideas, facts and fiction. Not so different really.

A question on terrorism and radical Islam came up (it may have even been Ding (or Dong) who raised it unasked, come to think of it). Also the different sects; sunni, shi-ite, wahabbi (sp?). He brushed across the top of it. 'If someone kills or harms another person, he is not a muslim. He is a killer.' As for the sects... 'there are no sects in the muslim faith. All those others aren't Islam.'

Lots to digest then as we continued our stroll across the street in fact to the next mosque, which was actually not a real mosque but a shrine, called the Nagore Shrine. It was in crossing the road that I was attacked.

I'd like to know who ever came up with the notion that being pooped upon by pigeons is good luck .... OK I know, my mum did. But who else? Total crackpots (Mum excluded of course), that's who. It is nasty, smelly and really downright unpleasant. Of course Google has a myriad of links to totally gormless websites that devote column inches to this topic. Here's one:

I’m sure we can all agree that we’ve had our fair share of annoyance with bird defecation – it leaves a nasty stain on our cars and clothing, and any time birds are around, we’re instantly aware of their presence and hope that they don’t decide to use our clothes (or skin) as a toilet. It’s simply become a random, everyday occurrence and constant annoyance. How could anyone ever like it?

If you agreed with any of the statements I’ve said above, then it’ll come as just as much of a surprise to you when I say bird poop is actually a symbol of good luck. Believe it or not, there’s an entire mythical world behind the existence of and the importance of when a bird sh*ts on your car. If you’re a bit skeptical, keep reading.

For centuries, birds have always been, to a degree, mythical creatures; the Phoenix is an example of this in many cultures. Imagine, an animal able to simply spread their wings and glide across the sky with no issue keeping in sync formation with the birds around them.

Unfortunately, the price of being an airborne member of the animal kingdom is never knowing or having the appropriate means of defecation. Where would their waste go if they have no time to reach the ground to release it? Good enough for birds though, they’ve figured out the answer to that question long before humanity could even form adequate societies: give the humans good karma if they ever had a direct encounter with their droppings.

The main reason why we get mad at seeing bird poop “fly-by’s” is because of its unexpectedness and the annoyance brought on by the thought of cleaning it up. That doesn’t stop the Karma Gods from working, which in turn will bring you good luck and good fortune. With that being said, the next time you see bird poop in someone’s (or your own) hair, clothing, or windshield, don’t get mad – take a sigh of relief!

Numbskulls! I really don't need any self help dummy to tell me in 5 repetitive paragraphs of inanity that being pooped on is nasty. Really. As for the Phoenix... who cares about the bloody phoenix? It's a mythical bird. Not real. Getting pooped on by a bloody pigeon though, that is real life mate.

So it was with a less generous demeanour that I crossed the street into the shrine. It is both old and a bit ragged to tell the truth. But it is what it appears to be. A living, working place of worship not a gilded palace. I instantly felt the people here would understand my pigeon issues.